Be careful What you wish for
by my storm
Summary: a story i wrote prior to breaking dawn. how will bella's life turn out? will she regret her decisions? will he? read and find out


For the first time since the wedding we were alone. Away from Alice, away from Charlie, Renée, away from mike and the gang.  
Away from Jacob. A surge of guilt overthrew me but I fought it out of my mind. He was not going to ruin my night. He was not going to ruin Edward's night.  
I thought I knew exactly what I wanted but I couldn't be sure, as much as I wanted to fulfil my own desires, I still wanted Edward to be happy.  
He lay across from me and even though he couldn't read my thoughts, he read my face like an open book.  
"I'm ready" he murmured kissing up and down the side of my face, over my ears slowly to the back of my neck. This made me shiver – but in a good way. He misread it for fear and gently pulled me ever closer until I was curled against his chest, my favourite place in the world.  
"Bella, love, I care about you're happiness and nothing else. No one else could ever make me feel the way you do, I will do anything for you." He was so convincing, his speech so sincere and loving.  
There was no ache. Whenever we contemplated sex I would hear the ache in his voice, he wouldn't even have to tell me he was scared for my safety, as it would be written all over his face. But tonight it wasn't.

I tried to remove my arms from his iron grip but it was nearly impossible. I looked up at him, cocking my head to the side. Realizing what I wished he released his grip, but only ever so slightly. He looked down at me, confused, opening his mouth to say something.  
But I stopped him. I reached up and put my index finger on his cold, hard lips.  
I closed my eyes and lay my head against his chest and I felt the smile under my fingers. I started to stroke his lips ever so slowly. He groaned with pleasure and this sent me into hysterics. For once I felt like superman, not Lois lane.

He heard me giggle and then chuckled; "I do believe I love you, Mrs. Cullen" he rolled the last words around in his mouth, and let them out with deliberate slowness.  
He kissed me on the tip of my nose. The smell of his breathe was impossible to resist and all of a sudden I was at his lips, desperately trying to absorb as much of him as I could, before he pushed me gently away.  
I looked up at him, not sure what my face was saying "I thought we were fine now Edward but even if you...even if you...I don't...deserve you."  
"Isabella Marie Cullen you are truly ridiculous" he sighed "I want this to be special for you and I don't want you to rush" he smiled wryly "and do you actually think I would steal your virtue on something as typical as a bed?" He asked in mock horror.

In a split second he was standing up with me still cradled to his chest "I love you, Edward" I murmured "I know" he said, smiling and we were off. Running out the door and through the sand at breakneck speed, water spraying all around us.  
I didn't even have time to gasp at what was happening. The train of my wedding dress was left behind me, in tatters; it was just a piece of white fabric now. I wasn't at all dizzied by the run. Maybe it was because my eyes didn't leave his or maybe it was because his lips were still on mine, kissing me gently.  
I took a moment to assess what he was wearing, trying to figure out the best way to remove it without doing something clumsy. His perfect white shirt was soaking and spattered with wet sand. 

How far behind he had left his tuxedo, I didn't know. I started playing with his tie and he slowed.  
We were lying on a hard flat surface, covered only by an old white sheet torn at the edges. It was a rock, smooth and with a mix of colours in it – volcanic purple but smooth with gray.  
He lay me down on it and then I realised as he pulled me on top of him, still kissing me; it was cold, hard and beautiful – just like him.

It was beautiful. Our lips did not part, not once in that entire night. We were both on the same level, both nervous and excited as we lay together. He was gentle, forever holding me to him, never letting go. I knew I would never get tired of caressing his skin, so smooth and beautiful. It was cold also but that didn't sound like the right word. It wasn't a bad cold; it was the kind that made you tingle and shiver. Every bit of him made me happy. When it was over he simply held me to him for goodness knows how long. But it was ok, nothing needed to be said.  
"Thank you." I said, looking at his face.  
His eyes opened, they were confused "for what exactly, my dear Bella?"  
"For putting yourself through so much to be with ME. You could have anyone you wanted and yet you pick me and look what I put you through, so much restraint, so much pressure, so much..." he stopped me right then and there, disgusted by my words. His voice was now full of anguish and longing as he tried to convince me  
"Bella how many times do I have to say this to you? You are the only one I want, the only one I'll ever want. Before you my life was without meaning but now I have you and you're my wife. I care only for you and I don't think you could comprehend how much pain you put me through by putting yourself down. Every time you hurt yourself, you hurt me and I cannot bear seeing you miserable Bella."  
"I'm sorry" I realised how awful I had been, I had ruined the moment.  
"Don't be Bella. I love you so much." I was content with that.  
"I love you too, Edward Cullen" and with that I rolled on top of him.  
"Bella Cullen!" he said, teasingly reproachful as I made a bee line for his neck.  
"Don't spoil my fun; anyway, I love you far too much to stop" I muttered while kissing a trail from under his chin right up to his lips.  
My lips were bruised from the night before, they weren't used to so much exercise and they stung a little but I ignored them. We started kissing more vigorously than before and then it happened. I yelped as I felt the sting in my bottom lip. My mouth started filling with blood. Edward went rigid, his eyes black and what looked like blood smeared on his lower lip. And then he ran.

I lay alone on that rock, tears welling up in my eyes as I felt the dejection settling in. I used the old sheet to blot the bleeding that had ruined everything. He hadn't bit me; it was a simple mistake that's all.  
"Surely he believes that." I said to myself, it sounded like a question.  
My arms ached for him and I lost self control, I too, ran. I was unaware that I might be running into someone who wanted to eat me. I was unaware that I could barely see where I was going through the tears in my eyes. I was unaware of my feet that were stumbling along. I was unaware that I had left the remains of my wedding dress behind. All I needed was to be held in his firm grip.  
I ran out into the sun hoping that he would jump out of nowhere and carry me. But it wasn't so

Then I saw a flicker in the distance, a flicker of hope sitting on a rock out towards the sea. It was 

Edward, his skin ablaze in the morning sun. I was getting closer, his head was between his knees and he was sobbing. It was a horrible sound, like somebody was stabbing him with a knife.  
I approached him slowly, afraid that I would fall on the slippery rocks. I was very careful, afraid that if I moved to fast he would take off again. Being me I slipped face forward on the last rock and he pulled me out of the air before I hit the ground. He smiled at me but it didn't reach his eyes and I knew that if he could cry, he would be crying now.  
He pulled me into his arms and started sobbing a hundred apologies.  
"I'm so sorry Bella",  
"I've ruined the honey moon",  
"You deserve better",  
"I almost killed you",  
"I'm so sorry; I'm sorry, Bella please",  
"Forgive me?" His worlds made me ache  
"ENOUGH!" I demanded and leaned in so that I was sitting on his lap, my head on his shoulder.  
"No one is at fault here and there's nothing to worry about. I am not angry at you, I'm never angry at you. You should know that by now. I love you and I love that you love me. That's enough now." It was like consoling a small child as he sobbed into my hair.  
"I love you."  
"I love you to."

I fell asleep in his arms, soothing him until I did. There was no need to kiss, no need to move. We were content. Then once again he went rigid except this time I had no idea what was going on. I looked up slightly dazzled by Edward's glittering skin and then I saw it. It was the most menacing, threatening, astonishing thing I'd ever seen. A little girl.  
She was standing there gaping at us. She was staring at Edward but she wasn't confused, just curious.  
"Why are you glittering and sparkling like that?" she inquired in a chirpy little voice that sounded almost like Alice's. Edward growled in the back of his throat, but not of hunger; of worry. He had exposed them.  
He jumped up without a word and grabbed the little girl, throwing me over one shoulder and her over the other. He sprinted back to the house I managed to clamp my hand around the little girl's mouth and ears.  
"Edward what are you DOING!?" I demanded in shock horror.  
"I can't expose us; I need to buy us some time." He raced through his words so they were difficult to understand.  
"We'll hide her at the house; it will buy us some time. We have to call Carlisle, he won't like it but something HAS to be done." He raced through the front door gently putting us both on the bed.  
"Something? What do you mean?" I questioned him  
"I don't know yet, come on we have to talk!" He locked the door and pulled me out behind him, leaving the little girl sitting on the bed, completely awestruck.  
He was on the phone to Carlisle, speaking quickly but I managed to pick out a couple of key phrases.  
"Little girl" "sunlight" "deserted island" rushed through his mouth in a jumble of words.  
He hung up the phone and looked at me  
My eyes demanded an explanation.  
He sighed and opened his mouth...  


"Look Bella I thought this island was deserted, I thought no one was here, that's why I was so willing to expose myself but if the Volturri find out that I've exposed us they will destroy us all. We either change her or destroy her, I can't possibly think of another way." I hugged him trying to sooth his stress and then I walked into the next room.  
"Hello sweet pea, I guess you will want some kind of an explanation" I said as sweetly as I could.  
She looked scared so I pulled her onto my lap and stroked her reddish brown hair, it was quite similar to Edwards – she could've passed as his daughter. She looked about 5 years old and was very little. She still looked scared, even in the safety of my arms.  
"I have a few questions first though" she nodded  
"That sounds reasonable." She spoke perfect English, somehow mature for her age.  
"Ok well, do you have any family?"  
"No, they're all dead – shipwrecked you see, I was only little." I nodded again, astonished at how well she was taking everything.  
"Do you live on the island, how you survive?" she giggled.  
"I'm tougher than I look you know" she said, wrinkling her nose – it was extremely cute.  
"But I do deserve an explanation" she raised an eyebrow.  
"Ok then, this is going to sound odd but have you ever heard of a vampire?" she cracked up laughing  
"What?" I demanded but she kept laughing, she was gasping for air and rolling onto her backside laughing.  
"You're really as silly as you look." She laughed more "What do you think I am?"  
"How else would I ever had survived out here?" she laughed "I've been a vampire for 315 years to be precise" she looked up at me smugly and then I saw it – the beautiful complexion, the dark purple circles under her eyes, the fiery red eyes. The glistening white teeth that was beared and ready to attack.  
I knew she could kill me at any moment, she was sitting in my LAP but before she did anything I had a few more questions to ask.  
"How did you survive, this island's deserted!?" I asked incredulously. She raised one eyebrow and then it sunk in. She was the REASON the island was deserted. I fought a gasp but let it out anyway. She continued like I hadn't said anything  
"I'm a good actress aren't I?" her eyes gleamed  
"I smelt you out from the other side of the island; you have a very floral scent you know, lavender or freesia..." I winced at the words, the same words had come out of Edwards mouth once before. She continued "I'm very hungry you know, I have been surviving simply by eating the birds and what not but it was not enough, I needed a meal and you were right there – it didn't help my restraint that your heart was beating a hundred miles an hour." She smiled again, flashing an evil grin in my direction. "I decided to play it innocent, to pretend to be a human. I read your lovers thoughts and I knew he would not attack me in front of you, so I simply let him take us back here where I could be alone with you." I tried desperately to call for Edward but my throat was refusing to cooperate.  
She laughed, high pitched and evil, leaning up to my neck  
She whispered in my ear "Goodbye Bella"

Her fangs pierced my neck and I screamed in agony. It was a horrible force that was wrenching all the life out of me. It was happening so fast I barely had time to scream, I was getting dizzy. My perpetual saviour flew into the room and slammed into the little demon girl with such force that it 

pushed her out through to window.  
"Ewar!" I slurred  
"Be careful she's three hundred an fifteen" I slurred again. I became vaguely aware of the others in the room. Alice with her hands around my head and Carlisle with his bag. I felt a weird sense of Dé ja vu. Edward screamed in agony and someone else leaped out the window. It looked like Emmett. There was ripping and snarling which I was only slightly aware of. All I could feel was the burning. The sickening burning.  
I passed out.

I woke in agony, with no idea how long I had been passed out. Edward was by my side anguish in every line on his beautiful face. I reached out to him dragging him closer to me until I was curled up in his arms. The pain was unimaginable. He cried with me.  
"It hurts" I tried to say but every movement made my face burn more. I couldn't even wince.  
"I'm so sorry Bella, my beautiful Bella – by the time we found you it was too late." I whimpered again from the pain, curling even tighter against his cold chest – it provided a degree of relief. I ran my hands through his hair and wrapped my arms around him. His clothes were ripped and I suddenly remembered why I was in so much pain  
"The little girl? He glared as I said this  
"Lethal, absolutely lethal, she's gone now Bella. You're safe."  
I burst into tears and he sobbed with me. It hurt so much  
"Carlisle we need more morphine!" he called behind his shoulder.  
"NO" I tried to object "no needles!"  
Despite all of this he chuckled but even without looking I knew it wouldn't reach his face.  
"1 more day, he cooed in my ear." And then I blacked out.

How many times I awoke from my slumber over the course of those 3 days, I do not know but now I was certain that it was over. I didn't want to open my eyes just yet though. I listened to the sounds around me. Someone was pacing back and forth, their thudding on the ground barely audible. Someone was sobbing in the corner of the room, it sounded like Alice. Three people were murmuring incoherently to my right and I could hear the scratching of a pen on paper to my left.  
But the most important sound was the one right next to me, sobbing in my ear. They were Edwards, broken and tearless and every single one of them hurt me more.  
I had to make them stop.  
"Please, don't cry." I heard someone say in an unfamiliar, angelic voice. I then realized the voice was mine.  
I opened my eyes and everything was tinted red. Everyone raced over to the bed pure relief shining in their faces. I realized we were in Edward's room, on his bed. I was wrapped in his cold arms and I longed for him to stop sobbing. His nose was directly in front of my lips so I kissed it gently. Without any warning at all he sprung to life, jumping 3 feet in the air with me still in his arms. We spun around and he somehow managed to find a way to pull me closer than I already was.  
This would usually have crushed me, I realised. I pushed away from him in confusion, I was really confused now – how could I ever escape is grip.  
Then it dawned on me. I was a vampire  
"I'M A VAMPIRE!!" I screamed as loud as I could. I was so happy.  
"EDWARD!" I bellowed beaming – man I was loud.  


They all laughed at me and walked me back over to the bed. Edward and Alice sat on either side of me and Carlisle sat next to Alice. Somehow Rosalie, Jasper, Esme AND Emmett managed to squeeze onto Edwards couch.  
Edward pulled me onto his lap and wrapped his arms around my waist.  
"We were so worried about you Bella!" Alice cried.  
"You were out for so long" Emmett said with concern  
"And the morphine didn't work" Carlisle clarified. "It did something to your immune system which slowed the whole process down." He said in dismay  
"You were in so much pain Bella" Rosalie said with a concerned look at me  
"Are you ok now?" Jasper asked  
"You have no idea what it put me through, seeing you in so much pain dear Bella" Edward gushed with relief.  
"ENOUGH!" Esme boomed. Everyone stopped talking, looking sheepish. "The poor girls been unconscious for 9 days so stop bombarding her with questions." They all lowered their heads like guilty children. I laughed at this and smiled at Esme "It's good to have you back Bella" she said simply  
"But, I do imagine you have a few questions of your own." she said smoothly  
"I certainly do!" I tried to sound severe but it didn't work, everyone laughed at me.  
"Fire away" was Emmett's answer.

"Ok well number 1, precisely how long was I unconscious for?"  
"9 days" Edward explained, and then Carlisle butted in  
"I'm so sorry Bella it was the morphine, it slowed the whole process down and ironically enough it caused you more pain." Edward tensed and glared at Carlisle. I punched Edward in the arm, Carlisle looked apologetic.  
"It's the thought that counts" I decided out loud. Everyone laughed except for Edward who remained tensed underneath me. I turned around and kissed him on the cheek trying to soften his mood  
"I'm here aren't I" I said and he relaxed slightly.  
"Sorry Carlisle" he said obediently. Carlisle nodded in acceptance.  
"Much better" I said like a mother talking to a disobedient child.  
Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie all muffled giggles at this point but Edward, Carlisle, Esme and Alice were all still beaming with relief.

"Ok number 2." They all turned as I captured their attention.  
"What happened to the child?" They all glared darkly.  
"I'll answer this one." Edward said calmly.  
"She attacked me but then we overpowered her but she got away." I looked up at his face in alarm  
"Don't worry Bella you're safe now" he reassured me, kissing the top of my head.

"Alright then number 3" I directed this one to Jasper  
"Why is everything red?" I asked curious. He seemed to understand why I had directed this to him, because his eyes were quite red as well.  
"Bella, you need to hunt – you're positively starving, my eyes weren't even that red when I changed." This made me shiver. Edward pulled me closer whispering sweet nothings in my ear.  


"Umm number 4."  
"Alice" I commanded "Get me a mirror!" I ordered smiling  
"That's not a question" She chirped cheekily but was back with a full length mirror in a split second.  
Before I could look Edward covered my eyes. I could have easily pulled them away with my new found strength but I let him talk  
"I will always love you, no matter what you look like, you will always be beautiful to me – you always have." He whispered in my right ear.  
Then as my heart melted away, so did his hands.  
I was standing in front of the full length mirror.

I had to admit, I was absolutely stunning. My hair fell perfectly around my shoulders; it was soft and silky when I touched it. It was perfect, even better than I had ever imagined. To my utter astonishment my cheeks still had the slightest red tint to them. It was faint, but it was there. I reached up to see if it was makeup but it wouldn't wipe away.  
I gaped and my perfect figure. I had grown much taller, I was a few inches shorter than Edward still but it was a big difference. I looked down at my feet to see if I was wearing high heels but my feet were bare and perfectly shaped and sized in comparison to my legs.  
My legs were long and curvy. I looked at them in the mirror, they were firm and encased in gorgeous designer jeans that I knew I didn't own.  
I looked at Rosalie and raised an eyebrow  
If she could flush crimson she would right now "Alice and I got a bit carried away with your wardrobe, it was so much fun dressing you." She confessed.  
I smiled at her "You're prettier than me now, you know?" could I sense a tone of remorse in her voice.  
Emmett heard it to and he picked her up in his brawny arms and swung her around.  
"Almost" he whispered in her ear but made an apologetic wink in my direction.  
I returned my focus to the mirror. I had a pretty good bum but I would get to that later – with Edward. My arms were long and lanky and my fingernails perfectly manicured in pink. My stomach was firm and I realised I wasn't wearing a bra underneath the beautiful blue and white top I was wearing. I sighed and fell back into Edwards arms.  
He kissed my neck, ignoring his family that was still watching in awe. I looked once more at my face, clear heart shaped and set with pale pink lips and large eyes. Large red eyes, I noticed.  
"Well?" Alice chirped expectantly.  
"If I wasn't a vampire I would faint" I said honestly "I look so different, I hope everyone still recognizes me."I beamed despite myself  
"What?" Edward said, looking at me curiously.  
"I have to go to the clearing, it's not just my looks that have changed you know." I said trying to sound seductive and it worked. It worked so much that it was embarrassing.  
He looked as astonished as me at the sound of my voice "err..." he muttered embarrassed but Carlisle butted in,  
"I do think it's wiser that we take Bella hunting first" I growled in agreement, losing control almost completely,  
"Ok then Alice, Edward and Emmett – you take Bella" Carlisle decided "And Jasper, Rosalie and Esme will come with me."  


"It's settled then, Edward said." I growled despite myself. Edward chuckled but Emmett's laugh was not quite so discreet.

Then we were off, I was faster than I thought I was but Edward managed to stay by my side the whole time.  
I completely let go of any control I had and willingly gave myself over to my senses. It wasn't hard; none of the animals stood a chance against me. The worst part was the drive up there. I sat in the back seat growling the whole time, aching with thirst. I had to be restrained several times from jumping out of the jeep just to get at a bird or a mouse. Now I realised why we had brought Edward AND Emmett. It was horrible. I completely ignored Edwards cooing in my ear, as much as I wanted to hear it. All I could feel, all I could understand was thirst. Hunt, my body insisted and it was nearly impossible to ignore.  
I tried to look back on some of my fonder memories, like the time Edward had taken me to prom. I chuckled despite myself. He had tricked me into it in a way but deep down I enjoyed it. Something I had said that night sprung back into my mind - "Oh, I'm with the vampires, of course." I had said.  
"I'm with the vampires" I whispered under my breath "I'm with the vampires" I repeated to myself. I was.  
I really was.  
But more importantly I was with Edward; my one and only love who I knew would help me through my years as a new born. It would be hard, it would be painful but he would be there and that was all that mattered.  
I was snapped out of my day dreaming by an infuriating, mouth watering scent. Neither Edward, nor Emmett could hold me back now. I broke out of their grips and leapt out of the fast travelling car and ran towards the scent. Deeper into the forest I went, growing faster all the time. I could hear them on my trail, yet they didn't try to stop me, so I presumed whatever it was wasn't human.  
Then Edward was by my side. "Wild boar" he hissed in my ear, grinning "six of them, nice work bells" he grinned wickedly.  
Alice was catching up with us, a sassy grin lighting up her face. With enormous effort on her part, she sprinted up to Edward's side and whispered in his ear, forgetting that I could hear her anyway, now that I was a vampire.  
"Emmett's found a family of bears and he says that we should hunt them and let Bella have all six of the boars" she sounded excited "You know she needs it, there are 5 bears, almost fully grown – we can share."  
Edward nodded then grabbed me, kissing me on the shadows underneath my eyes. Then he sped off into the trees, but Alice didn't follow.  
I looked at her and we started running again. "Someone has to keep an eye on you, I hunted most recently anyway and Edward promised to save me the big one." She chirped, practically reading my mind.  
Then we were there and there were not 6, but 7. With a great deal of restraint that I had no idea I even possessed, I stopped and turned to Alice.  
"You can have the spare Alice" I tried to say through my constant growls.  
She laughed closing her eyes then opening them again "I don't see you giving it to me" she giggled "don't feel bad though, you need it and right now I am putting you through hell just by talking to you so hurry up!"  
I didn't need more explanation than that. Without looking back once, I threw myself onto the largest 

boar and sunk my teeth into it. It was fantastic, the blood just seemed to keep coming and I sucked it up obediently loving the warmth of it in my mouth. My thirst was not even slightly quenched until I was up to the fifth but I couldn't help myself but eat the rest of them.  
Alice was right (as usual). I didn't give her the spare but I honestly didn't care. I got up to see Alice pacing back and forth, grumbling to herself.  
"I'm really sorry Alice, I couldn't help myself." I felt guilty now, I was so greedy.  
"It's not you" she mumbled angrily.  
"When you were up to the third one I saw Emmett eating MY bear" she was angry now but a wicked smile was worming its way onto her face.  
"What shall we do to avenge him?" I chuckled as darkly as I could.  
Alice closed her eyes, the grin becoming even more prominent on her face.  
"Manicure" she answered slowly, each word threatening and deliberate "pedicure, full body wax and makeover" she was in hysterics now.  
"You will easily overpower him" she jumped up and down "you know he deserves it Bella, come on are you in?"  
I laughed "You already know I am"  
"Just checking" she added slyly, and then pulled me off into the forest to find Emmett.

It wasn't hard to find them. Edward knew what we were doing as soon as we approached; he had obviously been reading Alice's thoughts. I saw him fighting to keep the grin off his face.  
Alice was talking to him in her mind, obviously, and I desperately wanted to know what she was saying.  
She nudged me and I was ready to pounce at Emmett's back. I wondered how the others were and if Rosalie would ever forgive us if we turned Emmett into a shemale. As I was empathizing with Rosalie, something began to happen. My mind went blank and my body began to contort and change shape. I was terrified as my hair changed colour. It was blonde. I looked at Alice who was staring at me completely beside herself with fear and confusion.  
Edward suddenly raced through the forest and grabbed me, holding me out at arms length. His expression was dumbfounded.  
Alice crept over to me as well, still shocked.  
"Rosalie?" Edward asked confused  
"No it's Bella, Edward what's going on?"I pleaded but the voice I spoke in was not mine. I sounded exactly like Rosalie.  
"Were going back to the house stay calm dear Bella, Carlisle will tell us everything." I was frozen in shock now  
Edward picked me up and ran me to the jeep, faster than usual, asking me all the time if I was in pain but I simply could not answer. He laid me over the back 2 seats with my head resting on his lap. He stroked my face but was so cautious about it.  
Alice and Emmett were suddenly there. Alice had obviously informed him on the run but that didn't stop him looking as shocked as the rest of us.  
"Rose?" he growled. He was confused but was still sort of under the impression that I was Rosalie. He wasn't taking it well.  
"Get her head off your lap!" He growled protectively at Edward.  
I found my voice all of a sudden "Emmett it's not Rose it's me, Bella! Don't fight, Edward what's going on? Where did my body go?" I whimpered as he stroked my face.  


Emmett was still confused, but convinced for the time being so he swung himself into the front seat and started driving at top speed. Alice was on the phone to Carlisle, telling them to come home.  
She didn't even bother trying to explain what was going on, she just stated that it was an emergency.

Emmett looked back at us and I saw the pain in his face as he watched Edward stroke my cheeks. I imagined it must look like his best friend holding Emmett's lover in his arms. I felt a surge of compassion for him; I was putting him through so much pain.  
Then it was happening all over again. My legs twisted, my arms contorting, my chest expanding. My hair was growing back into my scalp and muscles popped out all over my body. I groaned – I was Emmett now. What the heck was going on? I wondered.  
"Edward what the hell is going on? What's wrong with my voice? Emmett - stop laughing at me!"  
Edward dropped my head in astonishment and Emmett roared with laughter. Edward hissed at him to stop.  
"Edward don't you see?" he bellowed, still overflowing with reckless laughter "She's found her talent."  
On the way home I changed from Emmett to Alice, Alice to jasper, jasper to Rene, Rene to Carlisle and then Carlisle to Edward.  
The last change was the scariest. I was Edward, lying in Edwards arms.  
I didn't have a clue how it worked yet or why it worked.  
Of all the powers I could have had in the world, I had this one, the MOST humiliating one.  
I wished I could just go to sleep.

But of course, I couldn't sleep. The trip should've taken an entire day but with Emmett at the wheel it only took about an hour and a half. I knew I would never drive as fast as them, even with my indestructibility and reflexes and all. I somehow felt safer though. Maybe it was because nothing could hurt me or maybe it was because I was seated on Edward's lap, with my head buried in his chest.  
I had sat this way so many times before, but on all the other occasions tears would be flowing out of my eyes. But this time tears would not come.  
I wasn't scared about the fact that I was morphing into different people by the minute, I was more scared about what Edward thought. I wondered whether this WAS my talent just like Emmett had presumed. The scariest part was that I couldn't control it.  
Edward carried me through the door in Charlie's form when we got back to the Cullens's house. Jasper, Rosalie, Carlisle and Esme were all seated, around the seldom used dining room table. They all looked incredibly worried as Edward carried me through the door – they all thought I was Charlie.  
"OH MY GOD!" Rosalie screamed in panic.  
"What happened?" Jasper sounded incredulous  
"Is he hurt?" Esme sounded said  
"Did she bite him!?" Carlisle lost his cool completely and slammed his fist into the table with a sickening crunch. The corner shattered and Esme yelled at him.  
Everyone was talking at once and then suddenly Edward bellowed  
"STOP!"  
It was the loudest thing I'd ever heard and it sounded stressed. Poor Edward - I had already put him through so much tonight. I hugged him closer to me and it happened again. I started changing – 

growing taller, my beer-gut slowly disappearing until I had a perfectly sculpted chest. I looked down in horror at a different body; Edward's body, my body.  
I was Edward again.  
I groaned in embarrassment and frustration. Edward thought I was in pain so he held me closer to him. This was just one of many times to come that I would realize that he was telling the truth when he said he loved me, no matter what I looked like. He buried his head in my hair, his hair. I shivered.  
"She keeps changing shape Carlisle; she keeps morphing into different people." Edward sounded worried.  
"Whatever it is I don't think she can control it." He stated bluntly  
"Emmett reckons it's her talent." He conversed darkly with Carlisle.  
Then Carlisle spoke to me gently,  
"Bella, is there anything that happens, right before you change? Is there a pain, a feeling – perhaps an emotion that sets it off?"  
I tried to think back to all the times that I had changed in the past hour. It was hard trying to string together any similarities.  
"Well it doesn't hurt at all..." Edward sighed in relief underneath me  
"But I have to be thinking of them and I think..." they all waited expectantly "I think I have to be feeling sorry for them or something. I'm being silly"  
"Bella" Jasper said before anyone else  
"Look what you've done – you've ruined your clothes and humiliated yourself in front of all of us." The words cut through me and I felt a wave of self pity wash through my body. I started changing and within a matter of seconds I was Bella again. Everybody sighed in shocked relief.  
Jasper looked smug "She was right, it's whoever she feels sorry for." Edward glared at him, growling deep in the back of his throat.  
I shushed him but jasper beat me to it.  
"I didn't mean it Edward. Sorry Bella, I really am – I just needed to see if you were right and you were." He sounded sincere so I thanked him, and Edward relaxed slightly.  
"Bella, were you very empathetic as a human? You know did you tend to put everyone else before you? Did you like putting yourself in other people's shoes?" I was about to answer but Edward was already talking.  
"Carlisle, Bella is the most selfless person I know, she is constantly worrying about how everyone else feels. So this transforming thing, is she literally putting herself in someone else's shoes?"  
Carlisle nodded "That seems to be the case, but she seems to be keeping her own mind in place. Just appearances change."  
I sighed; everyone was still staring at me in amazement.  
"I'm going to take her to lie down; I imagine this whole ordeal has been very hard for her."  
"No" I protested but he scooped me up anyway and carried me up the stairs.  
As he carried me I whispered a silent prayer underneath my breath "Dear god, please don't let me change again tonight."

It was hard having my emotions on display for everyone to see. It wasn't something I would ever get used to. A hundred thoughts crossed my mind – what would Edward think? What if I changed in front of Charlie or Renee? What if I changed while I was "With" Edward? How would that affect him?  
"You look stressed." He whispered in my ear,  
"I want to make you happy Bella." He insisted with sincerity written in every syllable he spoke.  


"Maybe I should be creative" we were lying down on the bed and I slipped down to the end of the bed, playing with his toes.  
"Hah" he barked "You call that creative?" he swung me over his shoulder and I repositioned myself easily so that I was in his arms.  
He leapt down the stairs in one fluid movement and swung the door closed behind him without making a sound.  
"SO MUCH FOR RESTING!" Emmett bellowed out the window, roaring with laughter.  
I had grown quite fond of Emmett. I wondered what Alice had seen. I cringed.  
Within a matter of minutes we were in the meadow and Edward was lying on top of me, slowly removing my blouse. I wasn't letting him in that easily.  
"Hah!" I attempted imitating his gruff bark and it worked, maybe I could imitate voices as well.  
"You call this creative?" I teased pulling at his collar  
"How about something we HAVEN'T done before?"I whispered in his ear dragging his head closer to mine. Then I jumped up, cradling HIM in my arms for once, he protested but I was stronger than him.  
I walked at a human pace towards the sound of the stream I had heard so many times before. I dropped him on the ground laughing and sprinted off to find the stream. He laughed and ran after me. I was fast but Edward was faster, I reached the foot of the stream and Edward pushed me face first into the water.  
He dived in after me and grabbed me by the small of my back, pulling me closer to him.  
"Creative enough." He murmured into the hollow of my neck. He removed my clothes the same way as before and I was reduced to mush.

After would we lay on the bank beside the stream, still soaking, still intertwined in each other. I smiled and he kissed my nose.  
"So I heard what Alice was thinking before you changed."  
I looked sheepish but he kept talking smugly  
"And I think you should continue your plan, don't let the interruption stop you." He grinned  
"Except, Emmett isn't stupid you know, you're going to need a better plan."  
"What was our plan, Alice didn't even tell me." I laughed  
"She was going to ask him to come into the bathroom and then have you restrain him, while she gave him a makeover." I laughed at this, Alice was so silly.  
"The last person to go into the bathroom with Alice barely came out alive, so you might want to re think your plan a little." He chuckled and I smirked.  
"Who exactly went in the bathroom and what happened?" I inquired but he shook his head  
"Bella, Bella, Bella, we have an eternity to discuss these things, so let us get back to the task at hand." He drawled slowly.  
"Ah yes." I remembered.  
"And what do you propose." I looked into his eyes trying to drag the answer out of them but we rolled over.  
"I think we should your powers, as Rosalie, to get him into the bathroom." I gaped at him in mock horror.  
"And how exactly to you propose to get him into the bathroom with me, well Rosalie, as me?" I asked  
"By means of seduction of course dear Bella," we rolled over once again  


"You have my permission." He smiled – it made me giggle with excitement.  
"He did have it coming you know." I insisted, ensuring Edward that it was a worthy cause.  
Edward chuckled. "He will regret the day he ate that bear."

We were fully clothed now and we were at the front door. My hair was still soaking and I couldn't keep the grin of my face. Edward tried to pinch my cheek but failed.  
"I'm going to miss that" he sighed. I shot him a warning look.  
"Like you said lets concentrate on the task at hand."  
We strolled through the front door and Edward went and sat down with Carlisle and the boys.  
"Alice, Rosalie, Esme" I called "Upstairs now! I seriously need some girl time."  
Alice's eyes widened in excitement, I guess for obvious reasons she hadn't been looking into the future in the past hour. Rosalie however smirked at me – she knew something was up, and followed the rest of them upstairs with me.  
Alice was up there first, lying down on the couch. I sat on the floor and Rosalie sat next to me. Esme seated herself between us all with her legs crossed.  
"Ok Bella," Rosalie chuckled  
"What's going on?" Esme asked  
"Well." I didn't know quite how to say this  
"Rosalie I need permission to use your form to take revenge on Emmett." I was rushing so I composed myself automatically.  
"For eating my lunch!" Alice added in  
"We are giving him a full makeover, manicure, pedicure...facial" she continued.  
"But to get his attention and to get him into the bathroom I need to take your form." I added in for her.  
"And how do you propose to do that." Her expression was unreadable.  
We each raised one eyebrow at her and Esme laughed. Then Rosalie laughed as well  
"As long as nothing to freaky happens, and he comes back to me in one piece – you have my permission Bella, I place my trust in you."  
Alice screamed in excitement and I dived onto her to shut her up  
"PATIENCE ALICE," I hissed in her ear  
"You will have your fun soon enough"

Esme strolled down the stairs and yelled at everyone, everything was going to plan.  
"Ugh! You all stink!" her nose crinkling up, Esme was a very convincing actress. I held back laughter.  
"Have you not showered since your hunting trip or something?"She yelled, but all the boys including Edward, bowed their heads down in shame.  
"Ugh, Emmett you first, what have you been rolling around in?" Carlisle, Edward and Jasper all snickered.  
"Oh I promise, Carlisle YOU are next" and with that she strolled out of the room.  
I strolled down the stairs in Rosalie's form with Alice trailing behind me. Edward was forcing back laughter, I saw this and I helped him out.  
I spoke in my best Rosalie, couldn't-care-less drawl "Edward, go to your room Bella's been asking for you – she sounded worried" Edward put on a frightened, protective face that I knew only too well and leapt up the stairs were the real Rosalie was waiting in our room.  
I walked over and sat on Emmett's lap and he instinctively wrapped his arms around me. It was a 

weird sensation being held by someone other than Edward but I remained poised, imitating what Rosalie would do.  
"Planning on taking a shower any time soon?" I drawled seductively realising that Alice had dragged Jasper upstairs and Carlisle had walked into the kitchen to find Esme. We were alone.  
"Not really." He said "but I think we could make an exception if it involves you."  
He nibbled my ear; I needed to do something before he went too far.  
I jumped up off his lap and kissed his cheek swiftly.  
"Meet you in the shower in 3 minutes!" I whispered  
I gracefully dashed upstairs and into the bathroom where Alice, Rosalie and Edward sat waiting.  
"You know you're a terrible actress" Edward grabbed me and pulled me into his arms.  
"Wait" I said "Rosalie make me feel sorry for myself!" she scoffed at this.  
"Bella, you had to sit in Emmett's lap while he practically tore your ear off with his TEETH." She looked disgusted "I can't believe he actually thought it was me – you're a pathetic actress. Oh and one more thing. YOU have to live with ME for the next 100 years." She looked smug, but it worked.  
I was Bella again.  
"I can't believe I'm saying this but thanks rose."  
She smiled down at me  
"Um hate to spoil your fun" Alice said "but Emmett will walk through the door in 16 seconds looking for Rosalie so you lot – hide and Rosalie – in the shower!" she commanded.  
It was not hard finding a place to hide in the vast bathroom.  
We all just fought to get inside the laundry basket.

Emmett strode through the door towards the shower were Rosalie stood obediently, in a bathrobe of course. He was about to reach out for rose when 4 bodies flew towards him, knocking him sideways. I looked at jasper – he had just jumped out of nowhere. He glared at me while we held Emmett down  
"I sensed all the excitement and wanted to know why you didn't let me join in." I laughed at this and Emmett started screaming in frustration.  
I grabbed and held down both of his legs – it was easy with my new found strength. Edward took one arm and jasper took the other. Rosalie walked over at a human pace, teasing him, and sat down on his vast chest clamping her hand over his mouth.  
Alice strode towards us with a huge makeup bag in one hand and a permanent marker on the other.  
"This is for Eating my bear, Emmett" she grinned wickedly.  
She coated his eyes in mascara and eyeliner. He had given up protesting and Alice didn't even bother trying to make it look nice. We covered his lips in hot pink lipstick and coated his hair in wax. We used six bottles of foundation on his face alone and then we coated his arms and legs in it as well. We tried in vain to pluck his eyebrows but we all knew the hair wasn't planning on coming out. I made big blush circles on his cheeks. I wondered why we had the Texta.  
I picked it up examining it.  
Edward saw my confusion  
"My dear Bella when you make a work of art you have to sign it!" he cried, and with that we wrote our names on his belly, and sped off towards the clearing.  
Emmett followed, still coated in makeup and leapt towards Alice, smashing her towards the ground.  
Then he picked her up in an unbreakable grip and noogied her head furiously.  
I ran behind them and gave Emmett an enormous wedgie and he laughed, beside himself.  


With that Emmett sprinted off after me, wiping the many coats of mascara from his eyes as he did. The gooey black mixture was coated all over his face but he didn't seem to care, he just kept on running.  
"YOU KNOW YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME!" I bellowed with glee, as corny as it sounds.  
"I...CAN STILL...TRYY!!" Emmett gasped as he tried to catch up  
I could tell I was pushing his limits so I decided to change my strategy.  
I stopped running and stood dead still and before Emmett could slow down he slammed into me with an enormous crack.  
"ARGH!" he screamed but it was barely audible over the echoing laughter of the rest of the family. Once again Emmett lay sprawled on the ground, but this time Rosalie was sitting on him.  
"I surrender!" he cried in a mock melodramatic tone. He attempted in vain at putting his arms in the air but Rosalie held them down.  
"Are we done bullying me yet?" he groaned, sounding annoyed.  
"I think you've served your punishment," Alice chirped, sounding regretful - I doubted she wanted to stop bullying Emmett. Alice was SUCH a little sister, but I loved her anyway.  
All of a sudden Edward was curling his arms around my waste and lifting me into the air. I was above his head now and I knew that if I struggled I could break free, yet I couldn't work out a sensible reason why I would ever want to leave his arms.  
"LETS PLAY BALL!" he shouted.  
I immediately regretted my decision, when I realised that I was the ball.

"No! No! NO!" I protested, but I was already flying through the air to Alice. Alice threw me to jasper but jasper dropped me when I twisted his arm back.  
"Bella you can't hurt me but knock it off would ya?" he cried exasperated as I twisted both his arms back  
"It's a little uncomfortable down here!" I said, mainly to Edward. I was plenty strong enough to lift myself up but I craved his grasp too much to resist.  
He pulled me up and held me in his arms for a while  
I noticed that Rosalie was in Emmett's arms and Alice in jaspers. It was like a circle of love. I scoffed at how corny that sounded. Edward sighed  
"I hate not knowing what you're THINKING Bella!" Edward sounded annoyed.  
"Well you're not about to find out." I teased.  
All of a sudden he went rigid beneath me and a snarl began at the back of his throat - it was the most menacing sound that I had ever heard come out of his mouth  
I looked up and realised that everyone else was staring straight ahead, towards a gap in the clearing. I followed their gaze until I found the source of the snarling that was ripping through Edwards's chest. If I wasn't a vampire I would have passed out right there and then. I saw something menacing, something terrifying. It was a hideous creature with reddish brown hair, quite similar to Edwards. And then it hit me.  
It wasn't a little girl  
it wasn't a little vampire, either  
it was THE little vampire  
the reason for my change, the thing that began my new life. Before anyone could possibly begin to 

charge at the monster I was in front of her, with her held in a tight grip in front of me.  
It was not the same vampire.  
It was a child.  
I saw the fear in my creators face but I did not release her. I was torn between three options.  
1 - I could tear her apart that very minute  
2 - I could run back to the safety of Edward's arms  
or  
3 - I could listen to her, ask her why on earth she was here - after all, inevitably she was just a child, a child that I held in my arms.  
I knew right away that option 1 was completely out of the question because even if I had wanted to tear her limb from limb I would never be able to bring myself to do it. Option 2 did not look unappealing, but I was not unsafe and I could take care of myself now, so I decided to stick with option 3.

"It's you" I said in a rough voice. It was a pathetic response to the face I was holding in my hands but it was all I could come up with.  
Edward roared behind me and was on the little girl in an instant, crushing her beneath him, but the little girl was quick and sent Edward flying into a tree  
I saw Edward slam against the base of the old elm as the tree came tumbling down towards Emmet and Rosalie.  
They jumped out from underneath its path with time to spare.  
I grabbed the little girl again and started shaking her rapidly. She had touched Edward.  
NO ONE touches Edward  
"KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF HIM YOU SICK LITTLE TWIT" I screamed at her.  
She couldn't break my firm newborns grip, so she simply let me shake her - not at all bothered by it. She kept her face composed.  
Edward's hand was on my shoulder  
"What is she doing here?" he hissed in my ear  
"Ask her" I replied bluntly.  
I stopped shaking her and everyone directed their gaze towards the young girl.  
She began, not at all stunned by the small incident that had just taken place.  
"I wanted to see you, Bella" I had no clued how she knew my name.  
"Why?" I asked through clenched teeth.  
"I wanted to see what talent you possessed, if you have one" she grinned at me but I kept my face obstinate.  
I growled but Edward nodded at me to show her.  
"I do possess a talent" I tried to make my voice sound calm

She looked at me expectantly, with black piercing eyes. I knew what I had to do. I looked at her and said it straight to her face.  
"I can morph" my voice was no longer angelic. Instead it was intimidating and guttural.  
She didn't say anything; she just kept smiling up at me, waiting for me to show her.  
I searched my mind desperately, looking for something to make me feel guilty. And then I found it.  
The memory cut through me like a knife. It was the day of my wedding.

Everything had been going perfectly. I had started the day at 6:00 in the morning, as Alice was too excited to wait. I was dreary as she did my makeup, lathering it on a hundred times. I was dreading the result, but it turned out that it wasn't so bad. I actually looked kinda pretty, and I really wanted to look pretty for Edward. The process was painful, but I managed to block it all out, to be with Edward in my happy place. Over the next four hours Alice did my hair, gave me a manicure, gave me a pedicure, trapped my feet in ridiculously high heels, waxed my legs, dressed me and proceeded to give me "bedroom advice".  
"Alice I'm not 8!" I told her as she gave me a lesson on sex education.  
"You're younger than me" she protested "therefore you need to be informed"  
"Alllice" I groaned, and then someone outside the door laughed. I knew that laugh – Edward's chuckle had me instantly mortified. He must have heard everything.  
In a flash she was out the door into the hallway, smashing Edward with a hairbrush for eavesdropping. He grabbed her by the wrists and held her firmly out in front of him, still chuckling.  
"I'm actually here to notify you that my bride is required to walk to the aisle now!" he drawled, barely hiding his excitement.  
"Fine, 1 minute" Alice said, wrenching herself away from him "don't you have somewhere to be?"  
He grinned briefly and ran off toward the garden.  
In a second Alice was back in the room, in her bridesmaid dress.  
It was a beautiful emerald colour-strapless of course. It had a small v neck and was cut off just above the knee. It clung to her angular figure, making her look like angel whereas anyone else who wore it would probably look like an oversized toad. She smiled at me angelically, and kissed me on both cheeks.  
"It's time, Bella." She passed me my flowers "You have truly been a blessing on this entire family." She sounded sincere as we walked down the hall.  
"I have never known this Edward before, he's so much happier. Not to mention that he is completely and utterly in love with you." She grinned up at me as Rosalie joined me on my other side. She was wearing the same dress as Alice, but I could swear her V-neck was lower.  
"Not to mention what a fantastic friend you've been to me" Alice said  
"And me" Rosalie joined in, smiling down at me just as enthusiastically.  
They led me towards the large wooden door, where Charlie was waiting for me dressed in a classic pin striped suit. He looked nervous but I could see through his mask. He was happy to see me happy and he was secretly looking forward to walking me down the aisle.  
I held Charlie's hand and smiled at him. Rosalie and Alice stepped back to stand behind us.  
"Thank you." I whispered to Charlie; such a simple phrase yet it meant so much to both of us.  
"I love you Bella, even if I don't think this is right I still love you." He stuttered trying to find the right words  
"You are so important to me Bella, I want you to be happy and if this is making you happy, then it's right." He spoke slowly, more as a confirmation to himself.  
"I love you too, dad" I squeezed his hand and he opened the door.  
Everything was white and I couldn't help but smile. I was getting married to Edward, and everything was beautiful. I could barely detect the notes of the wedding march that was being played, I was too busy staring, staring at Edward. He looked beautiful. I could not describe how he made me feel. Nothing else was important anymore. Just Edward.  
I looked at his hair, remembering all the times I had run my hands through it. I had always thought it 

was the most human thing about him, but right now it was just as unbelievably dazzling as the rest of him. I walked up the aisle, walking a little faster than the music, just desperate to be by his side. Edward noticed as my pace quickened, and it only made his smile more prominent.  
I reached his side and Charlie handed me over to Edward. I held both his hands in mine and I didn't plan on letting go of them.  
I smiled up at him and Emmett winked from behind his shoulder, and jasper cocked his head towards Carlisle.  
This had been planned from the very beginning. Carlisle would marry us with what little experience he had in the Catholic Church. We both thought it was better than getting a real priest because I didn't believe that strongly in religion, and Edward of course thought he was going to hell.  
"We are gathered here today to celebrate the joining of Isabella Marie Swan and Edward Anthony Cullen, in holy matrimony." Carlisle began  
And so it went on; my eyes never left his and his never left mine.  
"Isabella Marie Swan." Edward said, directed only at me  
"I'm here and I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you, through the good times and the bad. Will you be my wife?"  
It took a moment for the words to sink in, the words that he had spoken to me so many months ago 'I'm here and I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you.'  
I didn't want to delay my answer, so I took a deep breath in and said "Yes". He slid the ring onto my finger with deliberate care.  
"Edward Anthony Cullen" I spoke as clearly as possible, with tears in the back of my eyes  
"I love you more than anything else in this world combined. The way I feel about you will never change, no matter what happens. Will you be my husband?"  
I had spoken my vows now and I had twisted in the words that I had spoken so many times before.  
"Yes" he said softly, smiling. I slid the ring onto his third finger but I refused to let go of his fingers.  
He gave my hand a squeeze, and then Carlisle continued, making it official.  
"Do you, Edward Anthony Cullen take Isabella Marie Swan to be you're lawfully wedded wife?" Carlisle asked.  
"I do" Edward spoke warm and firm, the voice of an archangel I remembered.  
"And do you, Isabella Marie Swan take Edward Anthony Cullen to be you're lawfully wedded husband?" I knew what was coming next, so I braced myself, ready to spring.  
"I do" I said, just a little too loud. I blushed and Edward chuckled silently  
"Well Edward!"Carlisle beamed  
"You may kiss your bride!" he bellowed with enthusiasm.  
I stretched my arms up around Edward's neck and he placed his hands around the small of my back. He pulled me closer and leaned down to kiss me. I craned my neck reaching up for his lips. I bumped my nose against his and we laughed together. Then, without any warning at all he pulled me off my feet and into his arms and kissed me. The cheers broke out from around us in an explosion. I knew that I should probably pull away from his lips now but I couldn't remove my arms from around his neck, couldn't stop the blood boiling under my skin. Edward smiled under my lips and gently closed his. I got the message and I pulled away, still keeping my arms around his neck.  
"Bella love, I think you need to throw the bouquet now." Edward whispered in my ear.  
He gently placed me back on my feet, and helped me as I wobbled a bit in Alice's stupid shoes.  
Suddenly Jessica screamed  
"SHES GONNA THROW IT!" Jessica squealed. I was so used to the angelic hum of vampire voices, that 

her shrill scream made me wince. A torrent of noise broke out behind me, as all the girls tried to get into the crowd of people who were jumping up and down behind me.  
"One! Two!" I shouted my voice shaking with anticipation  
"Three" Edward whispered in my ear, wrapping his arms around my waist. I flung the bouquet into the air, in surprise. I expected to here a scream when one of my classmates caught it, but instead there was an eerie hush. I turned around, but Edward tightened his grip on me.  
And then I saw it. The tall overbearing figure, the flexed, iron muscles, the russet coloured skin. Jacob was standing in the middle of the crowd. The bouquet in his outstretched hand, and anguish in every line on his face.  
He walked towards me and Edward with long, angry strides. His hands were balled up into fists and I could see the white on his knuckles. I shivered. The crowd parted, muttering as he pushed through them. My bouquet was becoming pulp in his hands. Edward held me close, muttering something I couldn't here, to Carlisle.  
"Now now Jacob" Charlie warned him  
"Let's not make any hasty decisions; I'm sure we can talk about this like adults."  
"Actually that's exactly why I'm here. I want to talk to Bella and the Cullen's." Jacob growled  
"Alone." He faced us now.  
"Well well now." Charlie said "I'm sure that's fine, but don't go doing anything 'funny', I am the chief of police you know." Charlie sounded smug now.  
"Inside?" Edward asked. I was amazed at how calm he sounded.  
"Good enough for me Cullen!" and Jacob stalked towards the open back doors. I gave Charlie a worried look and walked behind him, with Edward by my side and all the other Cullen's walking gracefully behind us.  
Jasper closed the door and Edward swung me off my feet and raced me into the next room. Jacob stood up against one wall, with Jasper and Emmett standing on either side of him, ready to spring if Jacob made a move towards me. Rosalie and Alice were both trying to relax their husbands.  
"What do you think you're doing here?" Edward snarled. He had both his arms around my waist. I placed both my hands on his chest and stroked it gently. It was like trying to calm down a child. He relaxed a little bit but Jacob looked disgusted.  
"I'm here to stop her from ruining her life." Jacob growled. He was shaking so I gave him a warning glance. The last thing we needed was for him to phase. "Bella you're an idiot! You haven't even thought this through! You're and idiot!" he spat.  
Edward roared at the insult and sprung forward to defend my honour. He smacked Jacob in the jaw with his powerful fist. I let him. Jacob knew that he deserved it.  
"That was a pretty good punch...for a leech!" he hissed. Edward only growled more and gave Jacob a blow to the stomach.  
"Don't you EVER talk about her that way you scum sucking DOG!" Edward roared. I hoped Charlie wouldn't hear. I walked forward and took his arm.  
"Enough" I said to both of them "Jake, what do you want?"  
He stepped forward to me. Our faces were only inches apart  
"I wanted to let you know what you would miss out on." He said. Then he leaned in and kissed me on the lips, slobbering like a dog all over my face. I was just about to push him off when he flew across the room. Edward held him by the neck.  
"Never come here again. Don't you dare." He snarled and dropped Jacob. He didn't crumple to the floor, instead he walked lithely out of the room and said, in a tone to casual for the words,  


"You'll never have kids." And he was gone  
I crumpled to the ground. Edward was suddenly by my side and I was cradled in his arms. There was a ripping sound coming from my chest. I had only ever done this once before.  
"Edward this is just like in Italy!" Alice sounded worried.  
"Everybody get out!" Edward cried in agony. I could see how much I was hurting him, but I couldn't stop the tearing and ripping that worked its way up my throat.  
"But..." Alice Stuttered  
"GET OUT!!" Edward's voice broke on the last word and I buried my head in chest. He stroked my hair desperately and the door swung shut behind us.  
He cradled me in his arms, and I knew if he could cry he would be weeping with me now.  
"I'm so sorry." His voice was anxious and I couldn't bring myself to look at his face for fear of the pain it would bring me. Instead I stained his shirt with runny makeup until my eyes stung. He rocked me back and forth, begging me to stop.  
"Bella no. Please no, no. I'm sorry. Bella no, please. I'm so sorry. I love you, I'm sorry." I lay in his arms until I couldn't bear listening to him anymore. His anguish cut me like a knife.  
"Edward" I moaned, after what felt like an eternity. He kissed my hair over and over again. It was actually very, very comforting.  
"Bella, I'm so sorry." He said for the hundredth time.  
"I'll never have children Edward, you'll never have children." I stated and I looked up at him.  
"Yes Bella. I should have told you, I didn't think about it. All I ever want is for you to be happy, but look at what I'm putting you through." He moaned.  
I thought about it. I would never have children. I would never have children. But I will always have Edward, I argued to myself. And the rest of the Cullen's, I had them as well. I knew I had to pull myself together. This was my wedding day and I was ruining it for Edward. How could we go on our honeymoon with me behaving so badly? I put my arms around his neck and pushed him gently onto his back, so I was comfortable on his chest. I kissed him as passionately as I could. He rolled over so that he was on top of me, carefully supporting his own weight, so that I felt none of it. I placed my hands against his chest. Then I finally spoke.  
"Edward, right now I have you, and that's all I want, all I need." I kissed his forehead "I don't need anyone else and I'm not planning on worrying about any of this now." I kissed his nose  
"There is plenty of time to sort this out later, I'm sorry" I kissed his lips.

A hand on my shoulder brought me back to the present.  
"Bella? Are you okay?" Edward was cautious  
"I can morph" I repeated to the little girl. I thought about all of the pain that I had put Edward through that fateful afternoon and I shed a tear. Poor Edward.  
And then it happened. My arms contorted, my body twisted, my hair grew back into my scalp. And I was Edward.  
I knew that the little girl was trying to keep her expression mundane but she couldn't help it. She simply stood and gaped. I smirked at her, well Edward did, but I did. Gosh this morphing gets confusing, I thought to myself.  
"That's remarkable, I've never seen anything like it." She said to herself  
"Yes, I am remarkable." I said slowly "Do you understand what you did? I was going to be changed by Edward and you ruined it!" I couldn't control my temper.  
"Yes I realised. I believe I am no longer welcome here." She started stepping back.  


Edward made a movement to pounce but I grabbed his arm, and the little girl sped off into the trees.  
"Bellla!" he groaned "We could've had her!" he cried in annoyance.  
"Not everything has to be solved with violence, Edward. She's just a child.." he interrupted me  
"SHES 3 HUNDRED AND FREAKING 15!" he said.  
"Doesn't matter now, she's gone and we need to talk." I grabbed his hand and we ran back to the house, leaving the others behind.  
When were in our room I shut the door.  
"Bella what's going on?" he yelled but then he changed his stance completely when he saw my face. It wasn't what he saw, it was what he didn't see. I was blank, expressionless. Empty. He ran up to me and grabbed me in both arms, holding me to him like I was going to float away. He was worried. He dragged me to the bed and lay me down, then hovered over me. I couldn't look him in the eyes because I knew what I said now might break him.  
"Bella," his tone was cautious "What exactly did you remember, when you morphed that is?"  
"I was thinking.. thinking." I stuttered "Thinking about our wedding day." His face was torn completely. "It's that horrible to be with me." His voice broke on the last word, and then he was gone. I screamed in agony. This was worse than any physical pain could ever be. I wanted to yell to him that I didn't mean what I said, that he had interpreted it wrong. But I could not find words, just screams. In a second the whole Cullen family was beside me, all except for the one I needed. Alice grabbed me in her arms and tried to stop me. Emmett clasped my hand in a firm grip. Rosalie hovered in the corner, unsure about the whole situation. Jasper conversed darkly to carlisle.  
"Carlisle, this is an emotion I've never sensed before; an emotion that has never been felt." Carlisle hissed in response. He knew I could hear them.  
"Bella." Alice cooed "What's wrong Bella, tell us." I didn't reply but she knew in an instant why. My arms contorted and every part of me twisted. I was Edward. I stopped screaming and hugged myself.  
Alice closed her eyes instinctively "At Charlie's house, in your bedroom."  
She let go of me and rubbed my back.  
I sped through the house, pumping my arms as hard as possible. I was surprised to find that while in Edwards form I was as fast as him. The trees sped past me, but they didn't matter. I sped up my wall and in through my bedroom window. I grabbed Edward and wrapped myself around him before he got a chance to run away. I pulled him to the floor and buried my head in his chest. He caressed my hair gently and I begged myself to be Bella again. It worked.  
He sighed and began moaning in pain. It was much like my screams, but worse.  
"Edward." I found my mouth again and gasped for air. "Marrying you was the best thing I ever did, I love you so much. I never regretted that decision." I clutched his chest with both hands.  
"Then why.." his voice was high pitched and stretched with anxiety. I interrupted him quickly.  
"I was thinking about after the wedding, before the honeymoon." His stance changed completely underneath me. He relaxed his entire body and wrapped his arms around my waist. He rubbed his cheek into my hair. "I thought you didn't love me." He sighed in relief  
"Thats the most idiotic thing you've ever said, Edward" I kissed his collar bone.  
"Sorry" he said, ashamed of himself  
"Okay talk to me Bella, is it Jacob you're worried about?" his tone was thoughtful.  
"No. What Jacob said, Edward. I will not go into hysterics, we need to talk about this." His body stiffened.  
"Bella I can give you everything; everything but children. My body can't do that." I knew he wasn't telling me something, I knew him to well.  


"But?" I inquired sitting up and looking into his eyes.  
He sighed "You know me to well." He murmured.  
"There is another option?" I asked again.  
"Yes." He said, still as stone.  
"Well?" I asked. He was worried so I took his hand in mine and curled myself up so I was sitting on his lap.  
"Alexander England." He murmured. "Created in 1865. Currently lives in Essex. In his human life he dedicated his time to hunting and raping 100's of women. He would follow them down dark alleys, and attack them. Then he would rape them and leave them there. One day he followed a young girl down an alley, stunned by her beauty. He didn't know she was a vampire and she attacked him when he advanced on her. She bit him. He was 26 years of age. His talent as a vampire is the...ability to impregnate female vampires." He rushed the last bit, wincing.  
"Edward what are you saying?" I asked. "What are you proposing?"  
"I am saying I would do anything to make you happy Bella. Anything. And I would like to have a child just as much as you would." He sounded stern, sincere.  
"I am proposing...that...you and I...pay him a visit." I gasped but then I considered it.  
"Edward..." I said with caution "I don't think I could do that to you...I..." he cut me off  
"Bella, Bella, Bella." He murmured into my hair. "Stop thinking about me, think about yourself for a change." His tone was reproachful.  
"To have a little child running around the house; to watch it grow. I know it would bring you joy."  
He smiled despite himself.  
"A human child?" I asked, still dubious.  
"Yes." He said as if it were obvious  
"How would I control myself?" I asked him  
"Practise" he murmured.  
"And the others, what would they think? What would they say?" I wasn't going into this lightly.  
"You know very well that Alice will have a field day," he chuckled "and everyone else will be happy to see you happy." His tone was final  
I gulped.  
"Let's go to Essex then." I whispered. He kissed the crease between my brows.  
"Yes." He said softly, and pulled me into his arms.

"No!" Carlisle boomed. This was the first time I had ever heard him loose his cool "ABSOLOUTELY NOT!" he shouted at me. Edward hissed.  
"You're being irrational." He said in fury.  
"Am I?" Carlisle was screaming the house down now. Esme touched his arm gently. And he relaxed his stance.  
"Bella, think this through. You are a newborn, you're only 3 years old. Do you think you could control yourself with a human baby? What about your morphing Bella? If you morphed while you were pregnant the baby would die, and there would be no way to get it out." He sighed, exasperated.  
"Carlisle, I'm so sorry." I muttered sheepishly  
"No you're not!" Alice boomed from the top of the stairs.  
"You are going to go to Essex and you are going to get pregnant and have a baby! You know why? Because it's your life, not Carlisles." She finished firmly.  
"I think its disgusting." Jasper hissed from beside her. "What are you going to do with it when its 

born? Did you think about that? Or were you planning on making a vampire baby?" he sounded disgusted. Alice hit him on the shoulder and mumbled at him under her breath.  
"I say go for it," Emmett spoke from his room "If it's what you want go for it!" I could hear the smile in his voice. Then Rosalie moaned and I could hear her slap Emmett  
"You're meant to be paying attention to me!" she scolded him  
"Yes rose." He said. I fought back laughter  
"No" Carlisle said. "This is my final word."  
"Yes Carlisle." I said obediently "It was a stupid idea, forget I said anything. I'm going to...to...to sleep" I finished and I walked up the stairs and into the bathroom. I really needed a shower but I decided a bath would be nicer. I sat in it while the water ran. I tried to settle my thoughts but it was so difficult to concentrate with Emmett and rose grunting in the background. Ugh. I shuddered. I rolled over so that I was lying face down in the bath. I turned off the running tap and relaxed but then I heard something that caught my attention.  
"Emmett, Rose, knock it off. Come down here, family meeting." Edward shouted up the stairs.  
Even through the thick walls I heard them both cry and in unison say "Bella." They weren't calling me, they were simply stating the obvious. They knew that the meeting would be revolving around me. All the problems in this family did. I sighed. I had brought the Cullens nothing but trouble, ever since I joined them. Maybe I should have taken Edwards advice, maybe I should have left him alone when he told me to. I quickly pushed these thoughts out of my mind and rolled over in the water. Even if I wasn't invited this was one conversation I wouldn't want to miss.  
"What's wrong now Edward?" rose moaned from the dining room, "Did Bella stub her toe?" she mocked. Any respect I had builded up for Rosalie in the past few months, got up and flew out the window. Edward growled and I distinctively heard Emmett muttering, "Easy Rose, Easy."  
I kept listening intently.  
"Behave Rose." Edward sounded bored.  
"I want to discuss Bella and I taking a trip to Essex." He sounded casual.  
Jasper and Carlisle Growled.  
"That's sick!" Rose hissed.  
"Barbaric."Jasper cut in.  
"Hey hold up just a minute!" Emmett boomed "What did Bella do to deserve this? You told her she was wrong so she agreed."  
"Yeah!" Alice chimed in "It's her life, let her live it."  
Carlisle growled again  
"Look" Edward said. He was probably being the most rational "Bella tries so hard with everything. She married me to make me happy. She became a vampire to keep the whole family safe from herself. She let Alice do the wedding because she knew it would make her happy. She gave rose a second chance when it was completely undeserved. She let Emmett beat her at arm wrestling, just so he wouldn't be embarrassed. She tries to hide her emotions from jasper, just so that he won't get worried. She does anything Esme tells her to. And Carlisle, when you said no she agreed with you immediately." He paused for impact. "What I'm saying is, she never does anything to benefit herself. She's always worried about other people and does whatever anyone tells her too. Look at the episode with James. When she thought her mother was in danger she tried to save her, with a complete disregard for her own safety, her own life. I don't think I could deny her this one thing, and since when did having children become such a crime."  
There was a silence  


"I say we vote it." Esme murmured  
"I second that." Alice chirped and giggled at her own pun.  
"Okay." Carlisle sounded reluctant "We will put it to vote."  
"Esme?" Carlisle asked "Yes or No?"  
There was no hesitation "Yes." Her voice was clear and firm. Carlisle remained silent.  
"Emmett?" He asked again "Yes or No?"  
"Hell yes! I think I'm old enough to be an uncle." He laughed at his own pun.  
"Rosalie?" Carlisle asked, he was getting worried. 2 yeses already. "No." Her voice was blank.  
"Alice?" Carlisles voice was beginning to smooth back into its usual, kind self  
"Yes." Alice replied simply.  
"Jasper?" Carlisle asked unwillingly  
"I vote No." His voice was firm, his vote was final. "As do I" Carlisle chimed in.  
"Which means, as usual when it comes to Bella, Edward decides. Is this really what you want?" the pause was long, thoughtful.  
"I have always said I will do anything to make Bella happy, but..."  
He faltered. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My saviour, my heroine  
"but this would make me happy as well." His tone was still thoughtful and I sighed in relief at the change of direction his words had taken.  
"What part?" Rosalie hissed "The Sleeping with another man part," she paused for affect "or the vampire baby which will be born?"  
Edward ignored her and went on like she hadn't said anything.  
"Therefore my vote is yes."  
I drained all the water from the bath, as if to signal that their little meeting would have to end.  
"Fine." Carlisle said in defeat. And I heard him walk away.

The bathroom door closed silently. I had been so absorbed in the conversation, that I hadn't noticed it open in the first place. I sat still in the empty bath, trying not to shake. I heard footsteps behind me, slow and cautious. There was a cool hand on my shoulder, all of a sudden, rubbing back and forth.  
"You heard all of that." Edward stated in my ear. I nodded my head, and he sat down next to me in the empty bath. All of a sudden I was very aware of my lack of clothing. I shuddered and he pulled me into his open arms. I sighed.  
"Yes." I replied finally. "And I'm not sure, but I'm ok." I answered, before he got the chance to ask me what I thought.  
"I thought I was the one who read minds." He chuckled mundanely. I sighed again.  
"Rosalie is right, Edward." I wouldn't let him contradict me so I butt into the silence "I am the source of all the problems in this household. Can't we just let this blow over? Forget it." I said.  
He tightened his grip on me and then turned my head around to face him, with one swift movement.  
"I can't force you to do what you really want. I can't force you to do what you pretend you want either." His words were confusing me. "All I can do, Bella, is base my decisions around you to make you happy. Because the only way for them to be right is if we are both happy." He kept talking in his riddling way of his. "So if my decisions make you happy, then I am happy, and they are therefore right. But you, you I have no control of. I can only pray you make decisions to make you happy."  
I wanted to say something but I couldn't. There was no way to respond to that. I did my best anyway.  


"Edward, that is the way I base my decisions. To make you happy, because that makes me happy. I'm selfish." I paused trying to figure out the best way to phrase the next sentence. He knew better than to butt in, so he continued stroking my tummy, and breathing down the nape of my neck.  
"Right now, I am not ready to do this. All I need is you, and I cannot ask anyone for more. Not your family, not myself and most importantly not you." He kissed my cheek  
"They're your family to, you know." He sighed "As long as you're happy Bella."  
"As long as _you're_ happy." I corrected him, and rubbed my head into his shoulder.

That night was longer than usual. I was getting used to the fact that I couldn't sleep, but sometimes it drove me out of my mind. I would usually lye down with Edward, or play video games with Emmett. Sometimes I even let Alice paint my toenails – yes the boredom drove me to this. Rosalie and jasper weren't talking to me. Even though I had given up on the plans of children, they were still angry at how it started in the first place. I heard them gossiping in the next room, while I lay, curled up next to Edward on the big bed.  
"He says that she's the best thing that's ever happened to him, but she's always messing things up for him." Rosalie declared. Edward tensed next to me, but did not make a sound. We would wait this conversation out.  
"On the one hand, she's brought us nothing but trouble," I could tell jasper was trying to be reasonable  
"But on the other hand, she HAS made Edward happy, and she's made Alice and Esme and Carlisle and Emmett happy too. Hey she's even made me laugh a couple of times, so get that look off your face Rosalie." Edward relaxed, but only ever so slightly. I'm glad that he had at least tried to stand up for me, jasper was a good guy. Alice had always said he was.  
"At least she's not going through this whole pregnancy idea, I wonder who put that in her head?" Rosalie was curious now. My thoughts rushed back in frenzy to the person who had told me, that I would never have children. Jacob. I hadn't seen him for 2 years. My Jacob. My best friend. I felt a sudden longing to cry, to remove all the emotion from my body in the form of water. Crying was so...so...so human. Usually I would have hidden these feelings from Edward, it was bad enough at the moment without another problem to add the Cullen family list. But as usual, when my body felt an emotion this strong towards someone, I changed. I popped out my form and my whole body twisted and grew. I groaned and Edward tried to stifle his gasp. I pulled the corners of my lips down into a frown.  
"Do I smell bad?" I asked.  
"Not If I hold my breath, love." He replied and then he took my hand and winced back.  
"What?" I asked, shocked.  
"You're boiling love, you're sizzling over." His expression was contorted into a mix between shock and pain.  
"Sorry." I replied, sitting up and putting my head between my knees.  
"You still love him." He murmured, putting one hand on my shoulder.  
Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, Alice, Esme and Carlisle burst into the room. They crouched, ready to spring at the unwelcome body of the werewolf. I cringed back, covering my face with my hands. Then they all noticed Edwards hand on my back. They all realised that it wasn't me, and the comprehension dawned on their faces. That is, all except Emmett. He growled at me and I stifled a giggle. Emmett could be a bit slow at times. Poor Emmett. Oh no. Did I just feel sorry for someone? I did. In a flash I 

was Emmett, and he jumped back like he'd seen a ghost.  
"Darling it's just Bella." Rosalie confirmed softly. Emmett's change off expression was so dramatic that I couldn't stifle my laughter. It boomed out of me, in Emmett's deep voice.  
"oops." I said, obviously startled by my own voice. They all chuckled to themselves, but I could see them wondering – what had turned me into Jacob in the first place?  
Emmett took some initiative "Bella." He said casually, a smirk building up on his face.  
"I am NEVER going to let you forget that." I shuddered and twisted as his words made me change back to Bella. Edward nodded at them to leave, but they all waited patiently.  
"What's the verdict, dear Bella?" Carlisle questioned.  
"Carlisle hush..." Edward growled softly but I stopped him.  
"It's ok," I said as firm as I could "They have a right to know."  
"Well?" my brothers and sisters chorused in unison. They're eyes all eager, but In different ways. I could tell that Rosalie was eager to rip my head off if I said yes and that jasper was eager to get it over and done with. Emmett and rose were eager for me to say yes, so they could jump up and down and scream in excitement. I hated to disappoint them.  
"No," I said, I watched the changes of expression on their faces. Some of them relief, some happiness and some sulky. "I am not going to have a child. This is all I have to say on the matter, and I would appreciate it, if it wasn't brought up again." Edward rubbed my back, and I knew very well that it would be brought up again. Not tonight at least, I decided. Tonight I would stay with Edward, in my happy place.

The next few weeks passed by, with nothing interesting enough to provoke my mind to truly think. I did my best not to sink into the lifeless creature that I had been when Edward was away, yet it took some effort. I laughed and joked with Emmett and Alice. I resolved my differences with Rosalie, and I had a one on one with Jasper, apologising for what I had inflicted on the family. I hunted every weekend, and I even managed to visit Charlie a few times. All in all I was moving on with my life. But there was one thing I had forgotten about. Time with Edward.  
I spent every day and every night by his side, but our physical relationship had become practically nonexistent. I slept wrapped in his arms, and he sometimes put his arm around my waist but we hadn't made love, or even kissed in two months. I knew he had noticed. And it all came down to one factor, the realisation that my sun was gone and my life had become an endless twilight.  
Tonight I lay wrapped up in his arms as usual. He sighed, and pulled me closer. I let him, but I remained rigid. He kissed the nape of my neck, but I had no feeling. What was wrong with me, usually this would have made me tingle all over and dive for his lips but I felt nothing.  
He huffed, exasperated "Bella what are we doing?" he whispered so that the others wouldn't hear. We had had the room soundproofed when we moved in so it was unlikely, but still possible.  
"I'm sorry Edward." I tried to get the right words out.  
"What's wrong, did I do something?" he was sad. I knew that I wasn't the only one who had been affected by our lack of physical contact. I spun myself around and pressed myself up against him and gently kissed his lips I wrapped my arms around him but I stopped kissing. I lay my head against his hard, sculpted chest.  
He laid his head against my hair against my hair and kissed it softly.  
"What's wrong Bella?" he asked. I really didn't want to answer, for fear of his reaction but it was Edward. How couldn't I be honest?  
"Edward..." I stuttered "I need...I need... I have to see Jacob." He didn't tense the way I expected him 

to. He just kept kissing my head and then my neck.  
"If that's what it takes to get you out of this slumber," he rubbed my lower back. "then it will be done." He spoke between kisses. Edward was so understanding, and perfect. How could I refuse him what we both desired when he would do anything for me. I kissed a trail up his chest and he groaned, it had been so long. To long. I reached his lips at last. I meant to be gentle, but I couldn't escape the feeling I felt. I kissed his lips vigorously and with more passion than ever before.  
He kissed down my front.  
"Why, Bella?" he asked, obviously curious about my change of heart.  
"I figure that I can't possibly refuse you what we both want when you would do anything for me. I don't think I could wait any longer anyway." I gasped. He had pulled my night gown over my head in one swift movement. I didn't really need a night gown, but it was a present from renee and I couldn't not wear it. I was in the flesh, pressed up against my Edward. The only problem now was that he was still fully clothed. Even so, that was a problem that could be EASILY solved. And so it was.

I was intertwined in Edward for what seemed like days, yet it was only one night. By mid day we disentangled our limbs and walked down the stairs hand in hand. The family was sitting in the dining room. Emmett was playing a video game while Alice gossiped animatedly to Rosalie. Alice was sitting on jaspers lap, who was playing against Emmett in Mario kart. Esme and Carlisle were holding hands and beaming at one another. As soon as we rounded the corner all gossiping stopped and every head casually flicked up to us, grinning and smirking with pleasure. Oh dear. Had we been that loud. Had they actually noticed our lack of physical contact up until now. Their faces said it all. Yes they had noticed, and yes we had been that loud. Oh dear.  
Edward squeezed my hand and we walked in the silent, grinning room.  
"What?" I asked sheepishly.  
"Nothing in particular." My brothers and sisters chorused. And then the whole room erupted with laughter. Some of it, I realised, was my own.  
"It's good to have you back, Bella." Jasper and Alice chorused.  
"Yeah!" Emmett boomed "Yeah!" Rosalie imitated him perfectly and then laughed.  
"Tell me about it. I prefer it when she has at least a little bit of energy." Edward chuckled silently  
I hit is arm and everyone else whined at him  
"Aww Edward! Not necessary! We DONT need to know!" they chorused  
Their faces were shocked and disgusted but also slightly amused. There was a bit of an awkward silence where I elbowed Edward in the ribs. Alice decided to save the day and she broke the silence.  
"So," she said smoothly "What's on the agenda for today?" she asked, curious.  
"Like you don't know." Jasper scruffed up her hair. I was beginning to like Jasper. He was a good guy, and he was always sticking up for me; most of the time at least. I remembered when I had first been introduced to the Cullen family, and he had found it so difficult to be near me. At least now he wouldn't suffer to be near me, and he didn't have to be known as the newborn anymore. I had quickly assumed that position. Alice snapped me out of my day dreams.  
"Actually I don't." Alice was even more curious now "Visiting werewolf's?" she asked, keeping her tone casual.  
"Yes. We thought it was about time." Edward cut in before I could look at him.  
Emmett growled. Just like the rest of them he could still remember the last time Jacob was here. He had almost ruined my honeymoon.  


"I hope he imprints on a lamp – post" Emmett chuckled darkly to himself  
"Or a tree." Alice added. She still hadn't forgiven Jacob either.  
"Or a fire hydrant!" Rosalie burst out laughing and then continued to imitate Jacob, using Alice as the fire hydrant. She pulled Alice behind her who was in fits of giggles and started yelling at Emmett in a rustic voice, just like Jacobs. "That's my fire hydrant!! Get away from my fire hydrant!!" They all erupted into fits of giggles. I fought back a smile. With everyone laughing, someone needed to be the responsible one.  
"Knock it off you guys!" I smiled "Either way, we are still paying him a visit.

I insisted on driving to La push, mainly because it gave me so time to think about what I was doing, what I was going to say. I knew Edward was getting impatient at my slow pace. So I touched his arm lightly, keeping my eyes on the deserted road.  
"It will be fine, honey" I tried to soothe is angry, impatient muttering.  
"Are you sure Bella? Is this right?" he had a worried look in his eyes that I had seen far too many times before.  
"I'm certain Edward, please just this once – don't worry about me." I rubbed his shoulder and turned to look at him "I hate it when you stress."

He held my hand to his shoulder, and I leaned over to give him a quick kiss. It was nearly impossible to keep my eyes on ther road, so Edward casually grabbed the wheel.  
I sighed and broke our kiss, for I had seen the bright red shack in the distance. We pulled up beside Jacobs rabbit. There was a flash of movement through the window, and I opened the door, onlyto find myself face to face with Jacob. But it wasn't my Jacob.  
His hands were balled into fists, his eyes firey and his nostrils flaring. He stank, but I had been prepared for this. I tried desperately to resist the urge to throw myself upon him but I couldn't help myself. I threw myself against him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He gasped as I winded him, and pushed me away firmly, but gently. The anger had left his eyes, but he still wasn't my Jacob. His faced was sad, strained, compressed.  
Was this my fault? I wondered to myself, being careful not to feel sorry for him.  
"Bella? What are you doing here?" he asked his voice cracking and shaking.  
I insisted on driving to La push, mainly because it gave me so time to think about what I was doing, what I was going to say. I knew Edward was getting impatient at my slow pace. So I touched his arm lightly, keeping my eyes on the deserted road.  
"It will be fine, honey" I tried to soothe is angry, impatient muttering.  
"Are you sure Bella? Is this right?" he had a worried look in his eyes that I had seen far too many times before.  
"I'm certain Edward, please just this once – don't worry about me." I rubbed his shoulder and turned to look at him "I hate it when you stress."

He held my hand to his shoulder, and I leaned over to give him a quick kiss. It was nearly impossible to keep my eyes on ther road, so Edward casually grabbed the wheel.  
I sighed and broke our kiss, for I had seen the bright red shack in the distance. We pulled up beside Jacobs rabbit. There was a flash of movement through the window, and I opened the door, onlyto find myself face to face with Jacob. But it wasn't my Jacob.  
His hands were balled into fists, his eyes firey and his nostrils flaring. He stank, but I had been 

prepared for this. I tried desperately to resist the urge to throw myself upon him but I couldn't help myself. I threw myself against him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He gasped as I winded him, and pushed me away firmly, but gently. The anger had left his eyes, but he still wasn't my Jacob. His faced was sad, strained, compressed.  
Was this my fault? I wondered to myself, being careful not to feel sorry for him.  
"Bella? What are you doing here?" he asked his voice cracking and shaking.  
"I...I needed to see you Jake. It's been to long." Jacob sighed.  
"Why are you here Bella, I can't do anything to help you now. You're already one of them." I could tell he was trying to be as nice as possible under the circumstances. Edward's hand wrapped around my waist, as if to remind me that he was there if I needed any support. I didn't have the heart to shrug it off.  
"Because." I struggled to find the right words "Because I miss you, Jake. You're my best friend, a part of me." I decided these words fitted "I've truly missed you." I added grasping his hand. He didn't throw away my hand like I thought he would, instead he held It in both his hands, and ignoring the arm around my waiste, gave me a huge hug and said "I've missed you too, Bella I truly have." He sounded hesitant. I pulled away  
"But?" I asked. I knew he was hiding something, I raised an eyebrow. Did it have something to do with Edward? I hoped not  
"But... I'm not sure the uh pack would approve." He was stern now. I lowered my eyebrow and roled my eyes, putting my hands on my hips.  
"Pack shmack!" I said with my best attempt at blasé. It didn't fool either of them. Edward gave my waist a squeeze and whispered in my ear, while Jacob looked away, awkwardly.  
"I'm going to go now." He whispered softly "Your friend has requested some privacy. I trust you with all my heart. I love you with all my heart. I will protect you if they try anything though, I will be here Bella." He kissed my forehead, and without another word he was in the Volvo, driving it away. I was alone with Jacob and he was teeming with happiness. I doubted the pack would try anything, it must have been a while since they had seen him happy. I could tell by the frown lines on his face. They had never been there before. I felt bad but I controlled my convulsing. It was probably better that I showed Jacob these things over time. He noticed my shaking and raised an eyebrow at me  
"What are you gonna do Bella? Phase?" he asked jokingly confused.  
"I'll explain later, do you mind if I say hi to billy?" I requested. He rolled his eyes at my eagerness to see his dad, but it didn't wipe the grin off his face.  
"Oh, fine." He moaned "He's inside." He gestured towards the front door.  
I walked into the house, and Jacob followed, ducking his head under the to-small door. His hand was on my back, guiding me into the right room. I was thankful for this. Even though the shack was tiny, I hadn't been there in so long, that I had actually forgotten where everything was. I stifled a sigh, and Jacob didn't here it. We walked into the tiny dining room where billy was sitting in his wheelchair watching a baseball match on TV. He faked surprise when I walked in, dropping the TV remote, even though I had seen him watching Jake, Edward and I out the window.  
"Hi Billy." I said, forcing a smile onto my face. It was hard to retain while he glared back at me. I raised an eyebrow when he didn't respond.  
He sighed and strung the words together in a lazy, offhand fashion.  
"Hi Bella. Take a seat." I sat primly on the little couch and Jacob collapsed onto the couch beside me. He put his arm around my shoulder. I relaxed, glad that things seemed to be back to normal. With me and Jacob at least.  


"Billy," I cautioned "I'm so sorry for what I may have put you or your son through. When it happened I really needed some time to sort things out. I have really missed you and Jacob. I just needed to wait for the right time." The words sounded pathetic in contrast to the depth of the situation. Jacob patted my shoulder in encouragement.  
"What I'm trying to say billy," I stuttered "I'm sorry. What I did was petty and I am begging for your forgiveness. I've missed you both so much." I decided that as simple as the words sounded, that they were still enough. I looked at his hands. Watching the emotions flutter across his eyes. Anger then pain. I guess he was remembering Jacobs behaviour when I went away. I couldn't blame him. Jacob shot him a dark glance. He sighed and I saw a look in his eyes that I had never seen before. It was forgivness. He had never had a reason to forgive me. Nothing like this had ever happened before.  
"We forgive you Bella. I hope that you're sure this is right." He shot me a dark glance. Jacob missed it in his excitement  
"Whooopee!" he screamed in excitement  
He wrenched me up off the couch and pulled me out of the door. I gave billy one last pleading look with my eyes. I hoped then at there that everything would go back to normal, and me being a vampire would just be a very minor setback. I hope.  
He pulled me down to the beach, where we sat on an old drift wood log. We spoke about Quil and Embry, and Paul's latest outbursts. We debated over Leah's tantrums, and whether or not she was just looking for attention. He sounded so happy. I wondered and wondered about what I might have done to him. My mind reluctantly dragged back the memory of when Edward was away. Did he go through that? Did I put him through that? Was I worth it? I just wanted Jake to be happy, that was all I needed. He cut off my daydreaming and started speaking about the pizza dinner that Emily was throwing for all the pack that night. He was bubbling over with excitement, so it was only natural for him to get carried away.  
"You should come Bella! Emily would be thrilled to see you!" His grin spread all the way across his face. I gripped his hand in both of mine, being very careful not to squeeze it to hard.  
"Jake," I was being gentle and cautious. My angelic voice helped in that charade. "I don't think that's the best idea. We need to give the rest of the pack some time."  
His face fell and he glared into the sand.

The drive home was long. It was twilight on the road and the thought of it made me sigh. I didn't mean to sigh, but I couldn't help it. Edward touched my hand on the steering wheel. I looked up at him. I had insisted on driving again, I just needed some time to gather my thoughts, and if Edward drove we would be home in a matter of minutes. He returned my gaze with curious eyes.  
"It's twilight." I said softly. He nodded his head in recognition. I didn't have to say anything else, he knew exactly what I meant. Twilight – the beginning of night, the end of a day.  
"You know Bella," Edward looked at me, a smile playing on his lips. "Night time doesn't have to be so bad anymore, now that I have you." The words were music to my ears, but I faked curiosity. I was much to hungry for his words to let them stop there.  
"What exactly are you suggesting Edward?" I asked, fighting the smile that was crawling onto my face.  
He raised one eyebrow at me, my favourite smile lighting up his face. I hated to break it.  
"Maybe not tonight Edward, let's take our time. I don't want what happened last month to ever happen again. I need some time to think some things through." I said the words as gracefully as I 

could, pulling over on the windy road, to look deep into his eyes. I watched the changes. There was a little bit of pain, and then embarrassment but then the comprehension dawned. I felt horrible for even bringing the smile away from his face. I jumped over in a flash, so that I was sitting on his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him, tentatively.  
"I'm sorry. Do you mind?" he held me even closer in his arms.  
"Bella, I only care about your happiness. I don't want anything to drive a wedge between us." He kissed my neck. I returned the kiss until I met his lips. I knew how easy it was to get carried away when I was with Edward so I moved my hands from around his neck, until they were on his chest. He looked at me with pleading eyes, but they quickly changed to nonchalant.  
"I won't let it happen again Edward, I promise. Just give me this night." I leaned into his chest, and he stroked my hair.  
You're so beautiful Bella, so, so beautiful. I love you with all my heart." He moved us both back into the drivers seat, so that I didn't have to move off his lap, and drove us home. I started to think about Jacob, and that day's events.

I poured over the memories that began to become flooding back, as I relaxed my head on Edward's chest. Jacobs face came back into my mind, and I reluctantly viewed the memory.

_Jacob glared into the sand, for at least a minute before he gained some composure."Why does it have to be like this Bella? If you hadn't changed, hadn't married him..." he trailed off, flinching away from me, scared of my reaction. Jacob was afraid of me. I couldn't wrap my head around it, Jacob afraid of me. It was unnatural for us, and it made the following silence uncomfortable. _

"_Jacob," I touched his arm lightly "It doesn't have To be that way. We can work this out, give it time." He held his fingers in mine now_

"_I don't have time, Bella" I looked at him questionally. "I'm aging Bella, I have no reason to stay a werwolve. It used to be you. But now you are gone. And so is my reason for being." Tears were creeping up to the corners of his eyes. "You will be here, and I will be gone." He continued, the water running from his eyes._

"_I'm sorry jake, I never wanted this to happen." The words sounded corny and stupid. I layed my head on his shoulder and he shivered at the cold of my skin."I'm so sorry." _

I replayed the memory over and over and over in my head. Edward stroked my hair but eventually I forgot what it felt like, it just became an absent feeling. I had ruined his life. I had ruined his life. I had ruined his life. My imagining suddenly disappeared when Edward pulled up the front drive way. The gravel crunched under the tires. I wriggled out of his arms and back into my seat. He looked at me cautiously, his face worry wrought.

"Shh." I hushed him, leaning over to kiss his cheek "we don't want to worry the family." I kissed him on the lips and he eagerly complied. The rhythm was beautiful, known to me. It made me forget my memories. I didn't mind the release, even if it only lasted for a moment.

"Ohhhhh Edwarrd!" Alice was tapping on the window, a wide, cheeky grin lighting up her face. It was like she'd never seen us kiss before. Edward growled under my lips and I rolled my eyes pulling away, to wind down the window for Alice. But she was already inside the car, sitting on my lap. I was a fair 

bit bigger than Alice, so even though she was 10 times older than me, she still felt like my little sister. My annoying little sister.

"What!" Edward growled. I imagined how he must feel. After 2 months, he finally gets some alone time with me, and then I go see Jacob, and then when I come back – Alice jumps in the car. I held his hand, subtly stroking his thumb. "Hush." I said under my breathe

"Alice what DO you want?" I groaned. Her face turned serious. I was worried, now. What had happened. She looked at me and Edward now. Edward was griping my hand tightly.  
"When you crossed the border, I got my sight back and...and" she was struggling  
"and?" I asked, my voice shaking. "I saw something." She rushed. "It was bad Bella, it was really bad!" she was close to tears (not that she could cry.)

"WHAT?" we yelled at her in unison our faces tight with outrage.

"I saw..I saw..." Edward wrapped his arms around me protectively. I wondered what Alice was thinking.  
"I SAW YOU FORGETTING MY BIRTHDAY NEXT WEEK! YOU DIDN'T EVEN BUY ME A PRESENT!" she sobbed dramatically.

"Alice!" I screamed at her, pushing her out the open window of the car. Her head popped up beside it. "Ok so I guess I deserved that." She giggled. "Oh Alice don't EVER do that again" I cried at her. Edward was gasping for breath – not that he needed to. Whatever Alice was thinking must have given him a heart attack. There I go with the puns again. Stop talking to yourself Bella, I told myself then I looked at Edward. But he wasn't beside me anymore. He was chasing Alice into the house, but even from here I could see the broad grin stretched across his face. I sighed in relief and got out of the car, walking at a human pace back towards the house. What had Alice thought of to make Edward so fearful? What had Alice thought of?

I made it to the front door and found Edward with Alice in a headlock. He looked almost like Emmett, noogying away at her like he would never ever get the chance to again. I ran up to her and Edward. I attempted to pinch her cheeks, but they stayed as solid as ever.  
"If you ever do that again!" I yelled at her, trying to sound orderly. "I swear to god Alice I won't get you anything for your birthday." I threatened in a low menacing voice. It didn't work. I didn't sound at all menacing, but still a flash of anxiousness spread across her face. But in a flash, she closed her eyes and then opened them again.  
"No you won't!" she cried with glee and then sped off up the stairs yelling "Jasper! Jasper! You'll never believe what I just saw!" she was obviously going to pull the same act on him, but knowing jasper he will make a last second decision on her present, so that she doesn't know what he's getting her.

I laughed to myself and then I felt myself being thrown against the Cullen's enormous couch. I laughed out loud and then Edward was underneath me, his arms wrapped around my waste. I was in a cage of his limbs but I didn't care, I just giggled.  
"Edward," I said, still grinning. He spun me around on his lap so that I was facing him. He returned my grin with his famous crooked smile. "Yes?" he asked, wrapping his arms around the small of my back.

"Do you remember the first time you jumped on me, and we went flying into the couch," it all seemed so hysterical now, I couldn't control my laughter "and then Alice came in because she wanted to share?" I asked him happily.

"I think I remember," Edward grinned at me. I touseled his hair.  
"As if you don't." I exclaimed. He held my face there.  
"you're right." He murmured, moving my head so that I was looking straight into his warm topaz eyes. "I remember every moment I'm with you." And with that he took my hand and walked me upstairs to his room. He took me and sat me by the piano. He took my hands in his and pressed them against the different keys. I protested but Edward ignored me. He moved my hands around the keys with unmistakable grace. I began to hear the disjointed notes of my lullaby. And I liked it, I liked that I was making the sounds. It was like when I was little, and Charlie would put me on his lap, and let me drive the steering wheel of the cruiser, but he still had control over the car. That was how it felt. He ended the song on a happy chord. It filled me with bubbling energy. I spun my head around to kiss him, but he beat me to it and we were locked in a passionate embrace. I liked this, but I still didn't want to take it any further tonight. Edward understood immediately by the tension in my body. He was satisfied to just hold me in his arms the whole night, and I was more than satisfied to return that embrace. Once again we were at peace.

I knew that I couldn't sleep, but I found that if I relaxed I could slip into a sort of trance. It didn't make me feel good like I used to after a good sleep, but It was a break from the real world. That was what I had always craved from sleep. Edward never felt cold like he used to, I guess it was just an added bonus to my immortality. Nothing really felt like anything anymore, but I had retained the felling of Edwards arms around me. I would never forget or lose that.

"Edward" I rolled over so I was facing him. His eyes flicked open, and a lazy smile spread across his face. The flickering movement of his eyes was no longer disconcerting to me. I was purely happy from the fact that his eyes were on me. His pale skin shone in the glinting light, shining through the glass wall.

"Yes," he murmured, taking his hand in both of mine.  
"What was Alice thinking today, when you were scared?" I asked, desperately trying to find the right words. His gaze turned smouldering, and his eyes knotted together, as he searched for an answer that would keep us both away from any hurt. He failed, and sighed in frustration.

"She was thinking of...of..argh." he moaned in pain. Whatever it was, he really didn't want to say it. I squeezed his hand in support. He took a moment to gain his composure before he looked me in the eye and continued.  
"She was thinking of you." He cut off, struggling to say the next part "She was imagining you, running away from me, with, with, with Jacob black." He bowed his head and his forehead contorted, lines twisting and running across it. Lines of agony, torture, fear even. But I saw the shame. I cupped his face in my hands twisting his head up to mine.  
"There is no reason for shame." I struggled to keep my voice steady. "Edward, if you left, I would die," He hugged me close, interrupting me "I will never leave you Bella. I left you once, and I destroyed us both. I shall never forgive myself for that..." I wormed out from underneath his arms, so that I could get a full view of his face. "Edward, please let me finish." He bowed his head slightly, embarrassed. "If you left, I would die, so I understand how you feel. If it was me, in your place, 

finding out that I was going to leave, I would die. Oh no those aren't the right words!" I sighed in forced, pitiful frustration. I layed my head against his chest in defeat. Why did Edward have to have such a way with words, and I couldn't even string together a decent sentence.  
"I know how you feel Bella, I understand." He spoke slowly, but his voice was still wrought with suppressed pain. "I just need to find out a way to accept, accept that Jacob is in your life. To find a way to be grateful to him? I must do it. I have to go." He slipped out from underneath me, and I clutched at my pillow to stop myself from morphing. It took me 5 minutes at least, to realise that Edward was gone. I was alone in my bed, unable to feel the cold. I wanted to feel the cold, to feel the tingles and shivers like when Edward used to touch me. Either way I needed to get out of his room; my room; our room. Every single step down the stairs cut me, as I pushed myself away from the room where I had been last. I placed myself on the couch, situated in the Cullen's dining room, with exaggerated slowness. Wait. I stopped myself for a second. What I am I upset about? Well that was easy, I told myself, Edward was gone, my life support was gone. But not forever, I contradicted myself with a sigh, just for tonight. It was so easy to convince myself these things. I lay down, my head on the couch cushion. Well I told myself, in a more orderly tone. Why had he left? This was the question that needed to be answered. He had said, that he needed to sort things out with Jacob. But I don't think he meant hurting Jacob. Could he possibly be thinking of a truce. The answer was simple. Yes, he could. My perfect Edward, desperately trying to make life perfect for me. So that would mean that right now, Edward was in la push. I felt a hand on my feet, a hard, smooth hand with no temperature. "Edward?" I asked, overly excited, spinning my head around hopefully.

But it was not the face I expected to see. Rosalie looked down at me, with worried eyes. Even with slightly messy hair, she looked like a saint.  
"Edward, are you alright? You've been talking to yourself" She exclaimed. She looked down at me, taking my shoulder, very obviously concerned. For a moment I was very, very confused but then I looked down at my hands. I recognised them, but they were not mine. They were Edwards. Had I morphed without even realising it? Was that bad? I snapped out of my thoughts when Rosalie grabbed my shoulder.  
"Edward!" she hissed, trying to hide her frustration.  
"Sorry Rose, It's Bella. I didn't mean to bother you." I sighed, impatiently at my own lack of control. Morphing really did suck. She nodded in understanding, and sat down next to me, putting her arm around my shoulders, in an older sister kind of way.  
"It must suck." She sounded sympathetic "Having all your emotions on display, and you, having no control over it. I could never cope with that." She smiled down at me as I shifted and tore out of Edwards skin. I was Bella again.  
"Thanks Rose." I said, smiling feebly back at her.  
"I meant it Bella, now what's wrong?"

I fumbled with my fingers for a moment, and then I spoke up.  
"It's Edward." it sounded stupid, she already knew that so she waited for me to continue. "He's gone to visit Jacob, and I don't know why. I'm worried about him, what if he ends up in a fight, what if its him against 10 other werewolves..." I trailed off. Rosalie tried to keep her cool, but she was struggling immensely.  
"He left to see Jacob, by himself?" she asked in worried disgust. "We have to go find him, werewolves are unstable, and we already know what Jacob is like. He will stop at nothing to get you back Bella."

I jumped up from my seat, suddenly realising the truth of the situation. Was Edward asking for a death wish? I groaned morosely.  
"CARLISLE, ESME, ALICE, JASPER, EMMETT! HERE NOW!" I cried up the stairs at the top of my lungs. There was no need to shout, but I needed to get rid of some, let's say, negative energy. The stupidity of that brought to thinking about Renée. I missed her terribly, but now I needed to think about Edward. they were all in front of me within a matter of seconds. They all wore a worried confused expression, but Jaspers face caught my eye immediately. He felt what Rosalie and I were feeling, and he didn't like it.  
"Bella? What's going on?" he asked me before anyone else got a chance to speak up. Everybody stared at me with worried eyes. I began to convulse at the thought of Edward, but I managed to stay in my own form. I was thankful for the patience of my family, because they had to wait a little bit before I could speak up again.  
"Edward is gone." My voice was flat, and the faces around me were still confused. I continued on.  
"He's gone to reconcile with Jacob, by himself" this, however was enough for all of them.  
"IDIOT!" Emmett roared in frustration. Esme threw herself upon Carlisle and started moaning over her possibly dead son. Jasper buried his face in his hands, and Carlisle wrapped his arms around Esme. Rosalie was already at her husband's side, burying her face against his chest. The way I would have done with Edward. I felt lonely, and untouched. I held my arms over my stomach, trying to crush any chance that the hole might chew its way out, of the barrier Edward had formed. I failed dismally, and felt the pain wash over me, stretching out through my entire body, my entire existence.  
The only one who was keeping their cool really, was Alice. She stood still in the middle of all the grieving vampires. Her hands were balled into little fists by her sides and her eyes were tight shut with concentration. Then she opened them all of a sudden, and I was in front of her, holding her shoulders tightly.  
"What Alice?" I cried desperately. "Where is he, is he alive!?Alice!" I began to shake her, and Jasper quickly, but gently pulled me away. I fell into his open arms, holding desperately at the hole.  
"He's not dead yet." She said quietly. It was like a glimmer of hope in my black sky. Those 4 words, as horrible as they could seem, were beautiful. "He has an hour." She was louder now, more business like. Everyone was staring at her alert. "In one hour, his future disappears, forever.

"He's crossing the border, and its dark. How could he be such an idiot?" the last part was a question for herself, no one answered it. In a flash I was out the door, racing for La Push, with 6 other Vampires hot on my tail.  
"Wait!" Carlisle boomed, but he could not stop my legs from moving. Emmett, however, could. He threw himself upon me, and I fell to the ground. He got off me, but kept a firm grip around my waist. Eventually I gave up my struggles, and curled myself into a ball.  
"Sorry sis." He sounded apologetic. Carlisle and the others caught up to us and stood by our side.  
"Bella, we need to think this through." Carlisle was trying his best to muster a business like tone.  
"This is exactly what Jacob would want." What Jasper said was true, but I wasn't about to give up. There was a thoughtful silence and then Esme, of all people, spoke up.  
"Have you told Jacob about your, power?" she asked curiously. Everyone turned their glance swiftly to me, their faces lighting up.  
"No" I said in sudden, excited comprehension.  
"Then why don't we use it to our advantage." Jasper was thoughtful, a cheeky grin on his face. 

Emmett hi-fived him enthusiastically, but I was too worried to be excited. Esme walked over and put her arm around my shoulder and sat down next to me.  
"It will be ok, dear" she said softly. Her voice was so sweet, so angelic –like honey. I returned her embrace and then leaned forward where everyone else was sitting.  
I took a deep, unnecessary breathe and looked straight at Jasper. "What do I have to do?"

I ran through the forest in silence, this had been already planned. When I came to the border, I stood still, listening for any sign of movement. I almost collapsed at that moment. Edward could be dead, I would never see him again, never feel his touch. It was painful. But for Edwards sake, I did as planned. Jasper had said that I needed to morph into Sam and go and talk to Jacob, but not just to talk – to let Jake know that 'Bella' was in the clearing, desperate to see him, and begging for Edward back. Then presumably, he would go to the clearing, where he would be ambushed. I would leave Jacob's and then come back for Edward; it seemed like a perfect plan. And this was just my worry, it was to perfect. Something was bound to go wrong. I destroyed this thought immediately. Nothing could go wrong, nothing at all. My life was practically perfect, and nothing was going to disrupt that perfectness. Not Jacob, not the Volturri, not even me. I closed these thoughts down completely, and stopped my knees from wobbling. I focussed every thought in my mind on Sam. It was nearly impossible, but I did it, I turned into Sam. I knew I stank, but I couldn't smell it. For the time being I was Sam, and Sam didn't think Sam smelled, so therefore neither did I. It was a difficult concept to grasp. I began to run. I was too scared to phase, so I stayed in my human form. If I did phase, if I even COULD phase, there was a high chance that someone would read my thoughts, and ruin the plan. All of these thoughts were trivial; all I could do was run right now. And I did. I ran all the way to Jacobs, and knocked gently on the door.

I heard light thudding, and Jacob came to the door. He opened it, his expression smug, but when he saw Sam he knew it wasn't me – even though it was. His face fell. I spoke up.  
"Hey Jacob, is this a bad time." I prayed to god that it wouldn't be, and that he would let me in.  
"No," he sighed, opening the door for me to come in "You just caught me off guard." I walked through the open door, and what I saw almost made me collapse in horror.

It was like a scene out of a horror film. The room was a mess. There were photo's plastered all over the walls, and I knew that none of it was billy's doing. He would have been the last person to approve of this. My face stared back at me from every possible angle. I just managed to stifle my gasp, and Jacob didn't seem to notice. I saw pictures of me, from my prom, various trips to seattle and port angeles with jess, pictures from my wedding. These were just the surrounding pictures. The picture in the middle of the wall was the most terrifying. It was of me, on jacob's motorbike, with Jacob leaning on the handle bars. How had he got these, I didn't know. I didn't even think I wanted to know. I slumped down on the couch, and Jacob took the opposite arm chair. Then it hit me. A horrible stench, a burning stinging stench. It made the confides of my nose freeze over, my eyes water, the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. I wouldn't let it ruin the plan, I wasn't going to let Jacob in on ANYTHING.  
"Jacob, why the hell does your house reek of vam..bloodsuckers!" I stumbled on the last word and hissed in disgust.  
"Well, one came over here today actually." He grinned evilly. I wanted to strangled him right there. What had he done with my Edward.

"Continue," I said, stern but casually. He sighed and went on.  
"Bella's..Husband," he spat, I stiffened slightly, "came over here to 'talk things over' so I figured to use him to my advantage." He laughed harshly. It was not my Jacob. It would never again be my Jacob.  
"Well, that's what I came to talk to you about." I said in my best gruff voice. "You know I support anything you choose to do Jacob, and I will help you if I can, but there is something you need to deal with."  
"What?" Jacob asked genuinely confused. I raised an eyebrow.  
"You need to attend to a seriously disturbed Bella, who happens to be rocking back and forth in the fetal position as we speak. She's been screaming for you for half an hour. You really need to clean this mess up, she won't let anyone near her, not us, not the Cullen's..." I trailed off. "You need to go there Jacob."

A smirk pulled up the edges of his lips, he was obviously very proud of himself. He laughed in a short little bark but then stopped, cautiously.  
"If I leave, Cullen will be alone." He nodded his head towards the shivering wreck in the corner that was my husband. I only just noticed him then, he had been completely silent through the duration of the visit. But now he groaned.  
"Bella...where's my Bella..." It made me feel like I had a piece of food stuck in my throat, I just wanted to reach out and grab him, comfort him. It took a herculean effort for me to stay where I was. I paused, taking deep breathes before I continued.  
"I will stay and keep an eye on her." I said, trying to smirk. "It should be interesting." I added, trying to sound more realistic.  
he paused for a moment, thinking things over. I could barely keep my eyes off my husband, his hair amuck, his clothes ripped. I wondered what was keeping him here, why he didn't just break through Jacob's wall. He nodded his head and said proudly "That should be fine, you see that this bloodsucker doesn't leave, and I will go sort out Bells." I was disgusted that he thought he could still call me by my nickname.  
"And what about the bloodsucker? What is keeping him here?" I asked, trying hard to act casual and bury my agonised curiosity.  
"Hah" Jacob barked a laugh "The life of his wife." He chuckled, glaring into the corner at Edward. Edward simply buried his face in his knees and began to shake even more violently than before. It hurt me to watch him, he was so helpless, so degraded. I wish I could send out some kind of message to him, to tell him I was here, that everything was ok. But I couldn't.

"See you later, Jake. I'll take care of the leach." I walked over him, and gave him a pat on the back.  
"See ya Sam." He smiled morosely, and walked out the door. I stood still until I heard the rabbit drive away. I threw myself on Edward, and he bit my shoulder.  
"Edward!" I grabbed him. "Edward it's me. I love you Edward!" I forced myself into my own form and picked him up in my arms. And then I ran. I sprinted at top speed towards the border, cursing myself for having lost my newborn strength. I tried not to show any of my fear, because Edward was in a pretty bad way. I wouldn't want to hurt him anymore than he had already been hurt. He clung to me, wrapping his arms around me. He was like a child, a helpless child. What had Jacob done? What had Jacob said? I pushed my legs even harder. I could see the border now, and Emmett's awaiting Jeep. Alice stood infront of it, jasper protectively by her side.  
"No!" Rosalie screamed in horror from the passenger seat, and something threw me to the ground. 

It didn't hurt me, but it was enough to stop me from getting over the border line. I still held Edward, tight in my arms, but something started tearing him away. It was Jacob and Sam. Edward was torn suddenly out of my grip and thrown in the other direction. He seemed to snap out of his depressed slumber and all of a sudden we were both on our feet, instinctively circling the snapping wolves. Suddenly Jacob phased and was standing in front of me. Even after my growth spurt as a newborn, he still towered over me.  
"Bella." He growled through his teeth, but then all of a sudden Carlisle slammed into him in a flash of white skin. He was battling him to the ground, tearing at his skin. Suddenly a white lump went flying through the air, and I saw in shock horror that it was carlisles hand.  
"Run!" he roared through the snapping of the 2 angry wolves that were on top of him.  
"NO!" I screamed angrily "Jacob STOP!" I begged him. He barked at Sam and then he walked over to me in wolf form. Edward automatically crouched in front of me, teeth bared while Carlisle fought of Sam in the background. Carlisle was stronger and more experienced than Sam, and within seconds he had flung him over the cliff. He proceeded then to look for his other hand, while keeping a sturdy eye on Jacob. I should have said something, should have broken the silence, but I couldn't. All I could bring myself to do was glare at my former best friend.  
"Bella..." he stumbled, having trouble getting the words out  
"Yes?" I asked, in a failed attempt at an icy voice. Edward growled from his crouch infront of me. I could tell how much he hated Jacob.  
"I can't keep doing this, keep fighting for you. I know I said I would never give up, but I can't be near you. I want to kill you bella," this made Edward snap menacingly "my instincts tell me to, but I love you bella, I can't possibly bear to hurt you..." he trailed off.  
"Jacob," I knew if I was a human the angry tears would be streaming by now "You hurt me when you ruined my wedding, you hurt me when you ran away, you hurt me when you left me, you hurt me when you kidnapped my husband, tried to blackmail me into marrying you...and yet you say that you never meant to hurt me." Edward was no longer crouching in front of me; he was by my side, both his arms wrapped around me protectively. Jacob bowed his head sheepishly. He looked as though he was fighting back tears.  
"I can't explain it Bella. I can only give you the choice, me or him." I was surprised when he didn't call Edward bloodsucker, but then the suprise slowly turned to outgrage and disgust.  
"Jacob. Why would you ask me to choose, when you know the answer? I will always choose Edward, but having you put me in the situation where I need to even consider a choice, makes it harder for both of us. It's like you want to get hurt Jacob, or maybe you just want me to feel guilty. I don't want to let either of those happen, but you asked the question Jacob. I choose Edward, not You." The words stung my throat as they came up through my mouth like bile. Edward rubbed my shoulder. I'm not sure whether or notit was in approval, sympathy, support or praise for what I had just done. All I could feel was the tingling sensation of his skin on mine, and I knew I had made the right choice. I looked up from my feet to stare at Jacob's face, to analyse his reaction, but he was gone. The last I saw of him was his feet, going the same why his body went, out off the cliff. But I didn't want to see it, didn't want to feel guilty again. I turned around, walking slowly back to the border. Edward followed my league, and I wrapped my arms around him. Carlisle had returned to the cars, with barely a rip in his clothes. This was a relief to me. Esme opened the door of Jaspers Hummer, and we huddled together in the back seat. Alice and Jasper walked, arm in arm to her porche, and Emmett leaned over to kiss roses forhead, before driving away in the Jeep. Carlisle and Esme sat in the front seats of the car, and Carlisle subtly pressed a button on the dashboard, making a dark screen come 

down between the front and back seats. Simulated privacy, I thought to myself. I pulled Edward closer to me, making sure that there wasn't any part of him left untouched. We held each other like that for most of the drive home, then I spoke up.  
"Edward." I whispered in his ear.  
"Yes?" he mumbled into my shoulder, where his head had stayed the entire time.  
"Are you ok?" three simple words; yet their answer meant the world to me. I lifted his chin so that he was looking at me. His face wasn't pained, but it wasn't blank. I could sense the relief that dripped through his caramel eyes.  
"Yes." He said simply, reaching up to trail his fingers across my cheekbone. I caught his hand on the second rotation. I still needed to know.  
"What did he do to you?" I asked as quietly as possible, even though I knew that esme and carlisle could hear.  
"Nothing unbearable" he breathed, and pulled me back towards his chest. I gently complied, and let him stroke my hair, and undo the tension in my body. The car pulled up the gravel drive and I wrapped my arm around Edward's waist, as we walked slowly up the stairs to the front door.

The walk up the stairs was slow, and I could feel my siblings eyes burning into my back. No doubt they wanted an explanation, but I was feeling to selfish to comply straight away. I pulled him through the door, and walked over to our couch. Our couch. I replayed it over and over again. Once it had been Edwards couch, then ours, yet tonight it had almost become mine. I wrapped my arms around him and sighed. I moulded myself into a familiar shape in his lap and I has transfixed by his arms around me. But he was rigid, and he wasn't breathing. Even if he didn't need to, he usually did it out of habit. I think he did it around me as well, to make me feel more comfortable. I didn't realise that I had stopped breathing to, but Edward did. He looked up at me. Even with all the extra sensitive hearing, I couldn't hear a thing. Nothing but silence filled our room. He looked down at me, and I returned his gaze. There was something missing from the set of his mouth, the creases between his brow, like the effort there was to much for him.  
"Edward" I broke our silence "What did he do to you." He averted his gaze from me and started concentrating very hard on the c.d. player near the far wall. I caught his collar and pulled his face back to mine. We were now inches apart. His breathe was so sweet, it was almost unbearable to concentrate.  
"What did he do?" I asked again. Edward neither moved, nor sighed like I had expected him to. Instead he just took a deep breath in and started to answer my question.  
"I went to Jacobs and we talked. We didn't share the same views, so he took advantage of my love for you Bella. He said he would kill you." He stopped at the last bit, waiting for my reaction. I winced involuntarily and he wrapped his arms tighter around me, murmuring in my hair.  
"I will never let this happen again. I will never let him hurt us. It has gone on too long." And with that I relaxed, and nestled in his arms. I knew that things would get better, I knew that I had it good. I was with the one I loved most, living in a family that accepted me despite what pain I may have brought them. And I had the rest of eternity to spend with the one I love; Edward - my past, present and most definitely, my future.


End file.
